Perturbation
by TheMajesticKaramel
Summary: Perturbation (/ˌpəːtəˈbeɪʃ(ə)n/); noun, a small distortion (from its usual shape) of an object or of the spacetime curvature around an object. Time Travel. [SAKURA-CENTRIC] [SASUSAKU] [SET DURING THE WAR]
1. Prologue: A Timely Beginning

**perturbation**

ˌpəːtəˈbeɪʃ(ə)n/

 _noun_

 **1**. anxiety; mental uneasiness.

 _"she sensed her friend's perturbation"_

 _()_

 **2**. a deviation of a system, moving object, or process from its regular or normal state or path, caused by an outside influence.

 _"these shifts and swings in wildlife populations are possibly related to climatic perturbations"_

 _()_

 **3.** A small distortion (from its normal shape) of an object or of the spacetime curvature around an object.

 _"her time travel was a perturbation"_

* * *

 ** _Prologue 1 of 1._** ** _/_** ** _Present Time._** **_/ 0YRS 0MNS 0DYS left._**

 _"A Timely Miracle"_

 _(please note that this story is set before the end of the war and Sasuke's appearnance on the battlefield)_

 _Ash._

A tall blanket of ash layered onto the burnt substance that had been created out of nothing but chakra, dirt, fire and blood; gallons upon gallons of crimson liquid, soaking each particle of ash into a mush so pungent and vulgar that even the sight of it could cause nausea.

 _Ash._

The air itself had become polluted with ash alone, the battlefield covered in a murk so thick and uneven that even the Hyuugas might have had trouble seeing the faces of both their allies and their enemies in it.

 _Ash._

Hands had become painted in a mixture of ash and sweat, turning their skin into a harsh texture and an appearance that looked as if a cigarette had been held against their skin for hours on end.

 _Ash._

Open wounds and cuts infected by the large capacity of ash, the strange material causing trouble for even the highest level of medical ninjas with its small, easily shifting shape that could effortlessly hurt anything with its dangerous properties.

 _Ash._

The colour of pure evil and hatred, submerging every inch of every person, every object, every part of the land- Everything, completely tainted by the colour that moulded fear into the very hearts of children.

And it was everywhere, the ash, signalling the destruction that had just taken place, signalling the effort wasted in the past years, signalling of what could be the end of the world... Ash.

That was the start of everything, the start of when I began to doubt how successful we could actually be in defeating this evil that we were forced to face. Whilst we were starving and sleepless, malnourished and dilapidated, mentally unstable and dehydrated, we fought like we were born to do it.

And, honestly, we were.

We were ninjas, after all, born to fight and born to train and born to protect and born to put our lives on the line if we had to; we were raised to be machines, I've come to realise, killing machines with the purpose of destruction and destruction alone, hidden behind titles such as 'protector' and 'saviour'. We have all unknowingly been manipulated into a path that most of us don't want to follow... but what else can we do?

We can't simply abandon our homes and families, because, even though we are trained to kill, we are also trained to be strong- Strong enough to protect the ones we love and strong enough to fend for ourselves. 'Ninja' is all we know, it's all we are, and we can do nothing but embrace that fact. 'Ninja' is also a team, a new family, an ancestry that millions have in common; although we kill, we also can heal and defend, hide and conceal, create and consume.

If winning this war is the only way that the world can remain existent, than even I, a medical ninja, will destroy and contribute to create more ash. If our own evil ways are the only thing that can fight the evil ways of our enemies, then so be it. We will fight, just like we always have. We will fight, resistant to the darkness that we ourselves have contrived.

At least, whilst we fight, the reality that we cannot win will be pushed aside and ignored, our only life force and strength remaining tangible even when we reach a state so pitiful; hope. The sweet yet deceiving concept of hope, the only real reason that we can continue to fight even when our chakra depletes so much so that it seems as if we're never going to get it back. Even when we fall and begin to believe that we have reached the end of the line, a blinding ray of hope picks us up and forces us to continue, despite the agonising pain and cancerous exhaustion begging us to stop. Hope, caused by the littlest of things- a memory, a scent, an object, even a colour- manages to become our guiding, guardian angel.

With hope, we believe that we can win. With hope, a euphoric peace can be achieved. With hope, we will become triumphant. When this war ends, and we are the victors (because we will be), all our petty battles that we once had among ourselves will be forgotten- We will be a nation united by brotherhood and friendship, a nation that fought through literal hell together, and, because of this, a harmony will be achieved.

God, who am I kidding?

Even after such a war, we humans are unable to obtain a peace that legendary Gods and spirts have failed to; we were trained to fight, it has been hardwired into our brains and it will take generations for us to even realise that we have been built into these mindless machines. We will remain 'Ninja' for lifetimes to come, but, honestly, our fighting habits are not the cause of this war.

Greed is the cause of this war, a want for absolute power and control is the cause of this war, Madara is the cause of this war. Of course, he solely does not have the entire blame (we all are at fault, honestly) but that wicked, twisted man is a master of deception and manipulation and he has pulled even the greatest of ninjas along by mere threads.

And what can we do?

Continue to fight desperately, even when we are fully aware that the war is as good as over and we are not the victors? Waste our strength, our health and our mentality for something as pointless as inevitable defeat?

We can do nothing.

"Sakura?"

My name, uttered by countless members of the alliance, is the only reminder of the days when everything was okay- The days when my keen eyes were innocent and naïve, my expectations of the world simple and sweet. The days that now seem like pure fantasy, as if I'd dreamt those days many years ago. The days I'd give everything to return to, even if it was just for a mere second.

When had it all gone wrong?

When had I stopped believing that everything was going to turn out okay?

When had I grown up and faced reality?

"Sakura," the voice repeats, only, this time, more persistently, "I'm talking to you,"

Huh?

I blink, forcing myself out of my daydream and back into reality. Right, I was supposed to quickly fetch some medical supplies from the one tent set up on the battleground and return to help Naruto with his recent wounds... Although, judging by the time that's passed, I'm willing to bet that Kurama has already sorted him out.

As I turn around to assist the woman calling my name, I come face-to-face with no one but my legendary sensei, her chocolate orbs firm and judging. She has a few scratches along her cheek and legs (clearly caused by poised shuriken and kunai) and her clothes are beyond simply battered and dirty; the effects of war are evident on the courageous woman, thick bags under her sleep ridden eyes and her skin an unhealthy, pale colour.

But she still looks as determined and firey as ever, her gaze strong and meaningful as if she's trying to prove a point- That point most likely being that the Alliance will win.

This is the same look that I'd first had, before everyone I did and didn't care about died in my very arms, when I too believed that we could win. This was the same look I'd used to submerge hope in my comrades, accompanied by the same smile that I always managed to flawlessly fake.

"Tsunade-Shishou, what seems to be the problem?" I ask her, my eyes subconsciously dropping to the floor in an effort to showcase my exhaustion, "Who needs my help?"

"Everyone," the blonde answers without skipping a beat, snorting slightly as if I'd asked a question so painfully obvious, "We're at war, Sakura, everyone is hurt and dying, just some are hurting less and some are dying slower,"

In this exact moment, I notice something. For the first time in my life, I see something flare in the deep brown eyes of the woman I respect more than anyone, a flare so rare and so strange that I almost gasp aloud.

She's scared.

Her hands, that are no longer gloved, are shaking ever so slightly (so slightly that I managed to ignore it at first) and beads of sweat are cascading down her forehead, her throat is constantly swallowing lumps of spit and bile, and her eyes echo nothing but untainted fear.

She, the most fearless woman I know, is petrified with that exact emotion.

She's scared.

"You don't think we'll win, do you?" I ask, my voice and expression void of all emotion. It's not really a question, it's more of a statement than anything, though I'll put a question mark down as it's what I was taught in the academy. She doesn't respond verbally, although she does give a weak smile, which has always been enough for me to confirm whatever it is that I'm asking.

Tsunade was a very 'actions speak louder than words' type of person, like Naruto, and I suppose she still is now. As hokage, you're expected to give a few moving speeches in your lifetime and, though Tsunade's speeches could indeed move mountains, her expressions and the things she did were far more of a persuasion than any word she could utter.

As both a teacher and an ally, Tsunade is someone I treasure more than most; yes, I look up to her as if she's on the highest pedestal (she is my inspiration), but I also want to protect and support her and guide her and just generally be someone she confides in. The woman has trained me into a capable shinobi and, for that, she has my eternal gratitude, but she has also allowed me to trail after Sasuke without a word of complaint and she's also shown me so much kindness that, at times, it has overwhelmed me when knowing how much she'd be willing to sacrifice for me. In the space of five or so years, after assisting her through so many medical-ninja and hokage related things, our relationship has blossomed into that of undying and indisputable understanding and trust; I honestly love her. The firey, compassionate woman has become like a second mother to me, and I love her.

"I don't know, Sakura," She answers back truthfully, not even an ounce of her stress hidden behind her usual mask; she's showing me raw emotion, something she doesn't do every often, and I almost begin to feel my eyes water at the sight. Fear, uncertainty, hope, exhaustion, pain, aggravation, impatience, wisdom, stubbornness, uselessness- All clearly broadcasted in her dying, hardened eyes, "I'm waiting for a miracle, although a part of me doubts it'll come. This battle has gone on for too long; everyone is reaching their limits. We're humans above all, unlike our enemies, and our physical limitations are taking their toll on our bodies,"

"But what can we do, Shishou? We can't stop fighting nor can we continue at the rate we're going… Even Naruto is losing his energy. Us medical ninjas can barely heal ourselves and, if this continues, some of us might have to result into fighting, and, by 'us', I'm not referring to me or you who can fight, I'm referring to those that have only ever been trained to heal,"

"I know, Sakura, I know, but we're drawing a blank on alternatives. We've been rendered useless and, honestly, it is the most irritating thing that I've ever witnessed. Even I, a Sanin, cannot do anything to help Naruto and the others. I have to heal, but, if I heal, I cannot fight and if I don't heal then we're all going to die at an even faster rate. We're losing this battle, Sakura, and nothing but pure luck and a miracle will allow us to turn the tables," Tsunade explodes, gripping her blonde hair in frustration.

"There is one miracle that we could try," I state, after a moment of silence, remembering a discussion that took place a few months back.

And that's all I do. I don't even need to say another word as Tsunade instantly knows what I'm referring to and, by the look that crosses her face, I know that she also realises that it's all we can do. But, in doing so, our world will instantly come to an end and, if we cannot fix what we need to fix, that's it. It's all over.

"Yes, there is, but there's a very slim chance that it'll work and, if it doesn't, we have basically ensured our loss to Madara,"

"That may be so, Shishou, and forgive me for saying this, but we've already ensured our loss. We're not going to win no matter how much more Naruto draws on Kurama to help and no matter how many miracles we manage to chance upon- The only miracle that will save us is this one,"

"You're not even supposed to know of it," She blurts out, referring to the forbidden jutsu, "You're not supposed to know of the Time Travel phenomenon we've recently discovered, let alone want to attempt it,"

"But I do know of it, and it's all that we can do at the moment," I reason, a slight and awkward smirk crossing my face as I realise the victory is mine when she lets out a quiet sigh.

"But who will do it? Who will actually travel through time and possibly give up everything, huh?" Tsunade argues, although I know she's given in, leaning against the setup of medical supplies on a worn-out table.

The tent is quite large, a magnolia colour with hints of dirt and mud blackening it just a little bit, and is quite a basic, rectangular shape. Three poles support the tent from the inside, one in the middle and two at each of the entrances on either side. Two make-shift beds are unoccupied on one side of the tent, whilst the other side is covered in containments for all kinds of medical herbs, antidotes, tools, bandages, along with a few guides to help the newer medical ninjas or the ones from less developed countries. Between these containments is a table with the very basic of equipment that mostly treat the disease and infections caused by being in this type of terrain and the constant openness of scratches and cuts.

Although the material of the tent is quite thick, I can still make out the screams and sobs of the dying shinobis and their allies, the sound of clacking metal and gushes of chakra almost a melody that I can't seem to shake out of my head. Despite hating the smell more than the people that cause it themselves, blood has become almost like a perfume as, recently, I can't seem to get away from that revolting stench, especially since I have to handle that disgusting liquid on an almost more-than-hourly basis. Even now, stains of crimson cover my battle gear- the classic green flak jacket and the navy blue pants and shirt- as if it is actually a part of my uniform.

"I don't know- someone who will be able to sustain the mental drain and trauma caused by time travel, which is purely experimental at this stage. The person will die in this world, I'm presuming, and the jutsu might not even work, so it has to be someone willing to give it a go despite the possible consequences, however it can't be someone like Naruto as we need him alive if it doesn't work,"

A give her a look that says everything and nothing at the same time, my teeth clawing at my bottom lip so much so that a small cut forms and blood starts to dribble down my chin.

"You can't honestly mean-"

"I'll do it," I say firmly, wiping anyway dripping blood from my face, more confident that this jutsu will work than I've ever been about anything in my entire life, yet also slightly terrified at the aspect of possibly giving up my life. Everything I fought for in this world, everything I've trained for, everything I've worked towards, will mean nothing if does work and, if it doesn't, I won't be alive to be able to complain. Either way, I could lose everything.

I'm Haruno Sakura, the girl who had luckily made it onto a team of incredible prodigies despite not being one herself, the girl who once had cared more about her hair than her own comrades, the girl who always fell behind said teammates, the girl who wasn't really meant to be a ninja yet forced herself into it anyway, the girl who shouldn't even be a candidate for this insane jutsu; I am weak, little Haruno Sakura with a big forehead and an annoying tendency to cry when things get even the littlest bit tough.

But I am also a ninja, and I have also trained harder than anyone in the past few years.

I am strong, I am tough and I am going to travel back in time and save, if not myself, everyone I have ever cared about. And I will succeed, you can count on it.

 _ **; .-;**_

"Sakura, you're going, huh?" A tearful woman had said to me a while back, her blond hair pulled up into a messy, unbrushed ponytail and her face diseased with worry and sadness. She'd been crying for at least three days straight since I'd told her of the news- I was leaving to join the war, much to her displeasure.

"I'm sorry Kaa-san, but it's my duty. I want to help our people and everyone else with them too; Naruto needs support and a good healer, and that's what I'm going to be for him," I had told her, although I myself had been just as scared as she had been. Both of us knew that my chance of return was little.

"You're duty?" She coughed out, clearly appalled by my use of words, red hot tears now streaming down her face, once again, "Sakura, it is not your duty to die! You are a ninja, not a puppet ready to serve her country and die when needed. War isn't some light-hearted mission, Sakura, you are more likely to die than you are to survive!"

"I know the statistics, ma, I know," I had chuckled out, surprising both myself and my mother with my sudden softness and calm demeanour, "I might die, yes, but I would rather die than not help everyone around me survive; I am a fully-trained medical ninja now, Kaa-san, I will protect everyone. I will protect you and oto-san too and, if I happen to die along the way, at least it will be protecting the people I love," I tightly gripped the woman's hand, my heart breaking slightly when I felt her slender fingers shaking more violently than the Earthquakes I had experienced in Suna.

"God, Sakura, can't you just be selfish for once?" She asked in a way that I could class similar to begging, pulling me into what was probably the tightest embrace I had ever experienced from her, conveying a sense of fear that letting me out of her arms would mean letting me go completely, forever.

But, although I recently had been quite pessimistic, I knew that I'd see her again after the war. We were obviously going to win and I was obviously going to see her again, the world had put me through enough pain that I deserved some good for once, and never seeing my mother again would be the greatest pain of them all.

This woman had raised me and, although I had thought she was the epitome of annoying when I was old enough to become a ninja, she had always supported me when even father wouldn't. This woman was the one regret I had if I didn't survive, because I wanted to, more than anything, see her again and tell her that all her worrying had been in vain.

But I was not ever going to see her again, at least not in this world if I was at all.

 _ **; .-;**_

There are many things I had dreamt of when I was younger that I haven't even began to accomplish; I wanted to teach at the academy some day, I wanted to grow old with a family, I wanted to see my said children grow up, I wanted to finally beat Naruto and show Sasuke how worth it I really was, I wanted to join my team on their pedestal, I wanted to do so, so, so, so many things (such as shop and learn to cook, fall in love, maybe take up another hobby or two) but all of it had been forgotten the moment I lost Uchiha Sasuke.

Although, honestly, right now, I would probably drive a kunai straight through his heart if I saw him, he had completely and utterly broken my heart. Sure, I had barely graced twelve, but he had been my world and losing him, above all, was the moment my life turned upside down. After that, everything went from bad to worse; living became a struggle and, despite being just twelve years of age, I was forced to grow up within a span of seconds.

From that very moment, 'ninja' became a career and not just some hobby that I did light-heartedly because it was what everyone did; training became a much larger priority than how I looked or how I came across to others, missions became increasingly more difficult and I was even expected be willing to kill if it was really necessary.

At twelve-years-old.

Expected to kill. Expected to die for my country. Expected to throw away all emotions. Expected to become a machine.

"It's an agonising process, Sakura," Tsunade tells me, slipping out of the tent to engage me face-to-face, after a moment of consideration. I'm kneeling on the dirt, facing away from the scarlet-stained tent, busing myself with the task of polishing some useful medical tools. As I'm not facing her, I can't see the expression that plagues her face, but I know her well enough that can I can make a pretty accurate guess. "Are you certain you want to do it? Someone else can just-"

"No!" I hiss, turning my torso round to face her so I can cast her a firm glare. My glare says many things to her, I can tell, such as how unwavering my determination is and how unwilling I am to give up. She simply lets out yet another sigh in defeat, like she always seems to do, "I'm not letting anyone else do it, shishou. You say that it's agonising and that I shouldn't do it because of that, but who am I to allow someone else to feel that pain?" I stand up, ignoring my newly muddied outfit and walking a few steps towards her, "As a medical ninja, it is my indisputable duty to take away any form of pain from another, and if that means feeling it myself, then so be it. I want to do this, Shishou,"

As if to prove a point, a reach out to squeeze her hand, offering a saddened excuse of a smile.

"Sakura," She whines to reason, breaking my gaze and allowing herself to let out a slight growl in frustration.

"Shishou," I retort back in the same tone, widening my petty smile in an attempt of persuasion, "I'm the person most capable to do it, you said so yourself when your first purposed the idea months ago. I will succeed, I promise you!" I lower my voice to a desperate whisper, "Please, put all of the trust we've built up over the last few years and put it into me now. Trust me, shishou,"

"Fuck," She removes her hand from my grip, "What am I supposed to do with you?" The blonde rhetorically asks, quietly, bringing her hands up to defensively cover her face. Her face is noticeably redder now, a thick layer of water ready to spill out from the corners of her eyes. "You've come so far from that little genin you were just a few years ago, and it's just kind of over-whelming to see you like this now,"

With her voice cracking from pure heartbreak, the woman continues, constantly pausing and rubbing at her eyes, desperate not to succumb to her emotions by crying. Every word she utters causes a part of me to break inside, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach, a heavy feeling overtaking my entire body. I can imagine my own face is relatively identical to hers, to be honest, though I'm not really paying attention to whatever tears my eyes are begging me to let free. Instead, I soak up her words like a sponge, absorbing each raw emotion shown to me and reflecting it with my own equally melancholy reaction.

"In the years that I've known you, you've always strived to be the greatest you can and your commitment and passion has always been unmeasurable. You're strong, Sakura, and not just physically, but mentally- I cannot name a single person more determined and strong-willed than you. As well as that, your kindness and generosity is just as limitless, and it is that very aspect of you that makes me both detest and adore you. Your kind heart forces you to put everyone before yourself and I hate you for that, Sakura, because you put yourself in the most dangerous of situations for someone else's sake. I love you despite knowing that I shouldn't, my young student, but you honestly need to learn to be a little more selfish and think about your own safety for once. I wrongfully prioritise your life to other people of our village, Sakura, but fine.

"Although I really don't want to allow you to end your life in this world to hope to go to another, I know that, honestly, you'd do it anyway. Rather than being opposed and seeing you leave and being angry with you, I want you to know that you have my undying support and, even across dimensions, I will always be there for you, Haruno Sakura.

"You are my student and I know you will do me proud, as you've done nothing but that so far, and I know you'll be able to continue doing just that. Don't forget who you are, sweetheart, don't allow anyone in that world put you down. You are Haruno Sakura, a student of the legendary sanin Tsunade and an elite member of the Konohagakure Medical Unit, as well as a kind and noble friend to anyone who needs one. Your heart is pure, my not-so-little cherry blossom, do not allow anyone to taint it,"

And that's all it takes to send me into an uninterruptable stream of sobs. A few words from one person who I care about, and any emotional resilience I've built up over the years just crumbles into absolutely nothing.

"Oh fuck, shishou, we don't even know if I'll make it back in time yet, and you're already giving me life advice for it," I cough out whilst trying to be humorous, sobs suffocating my words and tears soaking my clothes, "But thank you, I love you so much,"

"Come now, I've alerted Shikaku that you're willing to do it. He's setting everything up with Shizune and some other members of the alliance- we have to leave now. Naruto and Kakashi are heavily absorbed in their own battles at the moment and cannot give their farewells, but, if I get the chance, I'll tell them that you send your love and that you'll miss them deeply, as well as everyone else too,"

"Alright," I nod, allowing her to take my hand and lead me slightly away from the tent, "But let me just quickly put these tools back in the tent and then we can leave immediately," I slip my hand out of my teacher's death grip and bend back over to pick up the recently polished medical tools, before sliding into the tent for one last time, ever.

 _ **; .-;**_

"So, I suppose we should go over the procedure on our way there," Tsunade reasons, as we hop from tree to tree, "To save time,"

Despite the once beautiful flowers that once completely covered this area and the stunning array of colourful trees, everything has moulded itself into the same ash-like colour of everything else. No life, at least healthy anyway, is anywhere to be seen, hidden away behind death and destruction. The sun, although it being blatantly day, is cast away behind a thick mask of black clouds, the sky plagued by a deep, blood red rather than a vibrant blue or even a dull mixture of grey.

Leaves all a firey orange, fallen like our comrades, as they lie dead on the raven ground (also very much like some of our comrades). The world is in a somewhat apocalyptic setting, with not even a gust of air lingering on the planet; everything is still and lifeless, no animal or bird or little insect anywhere to be found. Funnily enough, to me, it seems as if the world is mourning our loss just like the rest of us, as if even the planet understands how despicable our enemies are.

"Well, for starters, I should probably tell you I don't actually know how the jutsu works- I don't know if it'll actually take you back in time or transfer you to another world. Your mission, however, isn't as simple as saving the world. Save that world, Sakura, but you must also save this world too. There should be an object or a weapon, one that I helped Jiraya, Gai, Kakashi and Asuma destroy just after Naruto returned from his training with Jiraya. It is the sole thing that can end the reanimation technique other than just blatant fighting. I can't really say what it looks like, but you'll know it's what it is when you see it,"

"So, you want me to find this weapon and stop the reanimations? Surely I could just prevent the war in the first place...Why allow it to-"

"Hang on a minute, Sakura, when did I ever say that I want you to use the weapon in that dimension?" The blonde interrupts, chuckling for a reason that I can't really confirm.

Wait.

My mission isn't just to save the world? Then what... Oh. Right, I see now. But, if she's inferring what I think she's inferring, that means that I'll be able to see everyone again after all.

"Shishou, you want me to come back here, don't you? You want me to retrieve the weapon and bring it here, to this time and this world,"

"Exactly," she nods, casting a proud smile to her right, in my direction, "However, you'll have to figure out how to get back yourself. It'll probably be similar to the way you got there, but that might not be possible in that world's circumstances,"

"And if I can't get back here? Or if I can't get hold of the weapon?" I ask, slowing down ever-so-slightly, my previous anxiety gradually crawling back into my system.

"If you can't get back with that weapon, well..." Tsunade hesitates, clearly aware of the answer but not quite willing to say it aloud, "God, Sakura, just get back here,"

I can guess pretty easily, though, but I still want her to say it. I need it to be real- I need to know for a fact how urgent my return is.

"Tsunade-shishou," I say, eagerly, in a way that begs her to just tell me.

And, surely enough, she does just that.

"The world, after you have reached the time in that world that you started the jutsu here, will continue just as normal. If you come back, it will have to be either at that exact moment or seconds later. Sakura, the war will continue just as it is now- we're all going to be in the same sorry, dying state as we currently are. And, if you don't come back, we'll be one down a talented medic and an incredible fighter, as well as a miracle that could save our lives,"

"So, in other words, if I don't come back, you all die," I choke out, my hands shaking at just the very thought of it.

"That's right, Sakura, we'll all die,"

 _ **; .-;**_

We were greeted vaguely by Shizune and the team that Shikaku had gathered, although Shikaku hadn't even bothered to utter anything, though I didn't blame him for it as he was far too absorbed in the task of setting up the seals for the time travel jutsu. We've been waiting for about half an hour since we arrived and I can tell that the setup is almost complete, meaning that, in just a few minutes, I'll hopefully be across dimensions.

Fuck.

That really is a terrifying thought.

I'm going to be young again, a part of a fully functional, drama-less team 7, and with the third as my hokage.

I'm going to be a genin, or maybe even an academy student, again. I'm going to take part in the chunin exams again. I'm going to be with Sasuke again.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Everything is going to be so different again- For once, I'll wake up without having to worry about dying that very day, or, even better, without having to worry about not being able to save someone else from dying. In fact, I won't even be expected to heal anyone. I'll be a child, with almost no expectations at all, other than doing a few D-rank missions here and there, and the very occasional training.

Sweet, blissful and innocent childhood.

That's all.

Well, I mean, theoretically at least. The concept of just enjoying being a child again seems luxurious, but that's all it is- A luxury.

And, I'm on a mission to save not one, but two worlds, I don't have time for any luxuries. Every minute, I'll have to train so I can surpass far beyond my current strength... Actually, about strength, what will happen to my current strength?

I mean, I'll remember how to use chakra in certain ways and my knowledge and everything will be there, but will I be able to apply that said knowledge? Will my body just physically be young and I'll have all my normal attributes working fine, or will I to wait until I've manage to train my chakra back up to my current level? Actually, will I have to even train my chakra or will it all be with me?

Well, there's only one way to find out, I guess.

It's done, I can feel it. The once ink symbols on the ground are now glowing vibrant colours, each corresponding to a different element. All of the respective kages, who I've only just realised are present, are all by the element of their village, and Shizune and Gai are standing on their own symbols drawn slightly away from the main circle.

"Each person symbolises a different elemental chakra," Shikaku explains, although I've already figured that out for myself, "Shizune over there, and Gai who's over there, symbolise medical chakra and the aspect of taijustu- The chakra of physical strength, which can only be unlocked when the eight gates are opened. They will all channel this chakra into you so that it creates another type of chakra, dimensional chakra. Although some can switch between different dimensions anyway, this works quite differently. Where as, with something like the mangekyou sharingan, it's either internal or you're actually physically transported. In this case, however, it is simply your soul that will be transported,"

"I see," I nod, understanding most of it, although it isn't really crucial that I know how it works. I guess it's so I can figure out to come back, maybe?

"However, Sakura, there is one thing I need you to do as well. Although the chakra is probably the most crucial part, we need something both physical and mental to allow you to transport your soul. The physical part being your blood, which normally wouldn't be such a problem, however, in this case, we need more than your typical drop of blood,"

I nod, playing with the ends of my longer than shoulder length hair. It had been much shorter before but, as war has kept me busy, I haven't really been able to recut it. On a side note, I haven't actually bathed in ages- Grime and dirt are tangled in my wavy locks, and I'm sure that dried blood is also in that mixture. I reek of sweat, too, and I'm certain that the unpleasant stench of death is coming from my clothes.

"How much are we talking about?" I ask, slowly and carefully making my way to the middle of the circle, making sure to step between the lines of intricate patterns.

"All of it," he answers back quickly, tossing me a kunai that I'm almost too unprepared to catch. At the last second, though, I twist my wrist, successfully grabbing the blade but piercing my palm in the process.

"Fuck," I curse bitterly, dropping the weapon out of surprise at the unexpected pain. My blood drips onto the ground, hissing as it's absorbed by the ink and directed along the path of the markings, the smallest of bubbles gracing the surface of the crimson liquid just ever-so-slightly. The trail of red stops almost instantly though, disappearing into the ground and leaving nothing but the familiar ink in its place.

Well, that did nothing...

"As I said, it needs a lot of blood, so much that it'll take this whole experience to another level of unpleasant," Shikaku says in a way that's so irritated that I can almost see the mocking tone thick on his very tongue, his eye fixated on me as if he is a predator and I am his prey.

"Shikaku, I've already told you that I want this to be as painless as possible for her, why are you-" Taunade suddenly spits out, being the first voice other than Shikaku's to speak in a while.

"Tsunade-sama, I'm afraid that this is the only way. We don't have the time to sit around and wait for this to work- We have to take immediate action and then proceed to the battlefield. The process, as I explained, will be excruciating for her, but it's either it is what it is or we don't even do the procedure, and I'm afraid the latter is not an option," Shikamaru's father empathises, crossing his arms yet still showing respect to the hokage.

"Sakura-san, if you could take the kunai you dropped and pierce your stomach, though it will hurt a lot, it should be enough blood to last the whole session," Surprsingly, it is Shizune who says this, readying her arms to pump her chakra into the symbols. Very much like her, the other kages and Gai are getting in similar positions too. To avoid any conflict and to also get this whole thing over with, I pick up the kunai without uttering another word.

And that's it. The next thing I know, I have a knife embedded in the pit of my stomach, blood cascading everywhere, the ink glowing the brightest of blue as the chakra starts to enter me.

And fuck, does it hurt.

Pure, untouched pain pulses through me; my throat is on fire, my blood feels itchy under my own skin, my heart burns like a sun itself, even my own tears sting against my face. I can't comprehend any thoughts, my eyes can't see anything, and my mind is all over the place, distorted from the agonising pain.

I'm cruelly aware of every part of my body, conscious of each bone that's shattering and every hair that rests against my skin so uncomfortably. My head feels as if a thousand needles are constantly being jabbed into it, my brain frying itself into a mush as each second passes.

I can even hear my bones, muscles and blood moving, cracking sounds and stretching sounds obnoxiously begging to be heard over the sharp pain that I feel.

Never in my life has something felt so bad and, honestly, I want to die.

I want to just end it all so badly; I feel as if I'm simultaneously being burnt and frozen to death, my body stinging with so much pain that it's starting to numb. I'm crying, screaming so much so that I can't even hear myself doing it anymore, although I know I am. My voicebox aches, but, to be honest, so does everything else.

I don't really know when the pain stopped, but I feel okay now, although my mind is clouded by dizziness and exhaustion. I still can't see anything, and my thoughts are still just an unorganised pile of randomness, but I, in a way, feel liberated.

I can't tell if it's my mind playing tricks on me or if it's a part of the jutsu but, suddenly, I am engulfed in a thick embrace of bright white; there is nothing but white for miles and miles on end, no sky or land. Just white. Pure, untouchable yet completely reachable white.

And then, without a single warning, I see a flower take life from seemingly nowhere. It's small and cute, only consisting of a single stem, one leaf and an assortment of magnolia petals, just distinguishable amongst the white. A lily, I recognise it as, standing elegantly as the only beautiful thing I have seen in months.

I ignore the connotation of what a lily can symbolise, though, not quite wanting to allow any negative thought into my mind as I know it won't help the jutsu at all. I need a clear mind with no wandering thoughts dancing about- Just nothingness.

Well, at the very least, as close to nothingness as I can come.

The flower brings to me a sense of normalcy, to be honest, partially because it stirs up a storm of nostalgia from the days in Konaha at the academy and also partially because it is the first untainted life I have seen since the war began. I can clearly remember making flower chains and crowns, picking up varieties upon varieties of different types of blossoms, laughing and joking with Ino and the rest of the Konaha girls with me at the time (of course, that is excluding Ami Watanbe and her gang of animals). Oh, how petty and irrelevant the drama and bullying of my childhood seem compared to the events of recent. The tears I shed over something as meaningless as my appearance and the heartbreak I had over something as small as a few insults seem almost pathetic now, although that might be because, as of late, even deaths of allies struggle to bring tears to my eyes.

I'm not saying that people dying doesn't upset me enough to cry (because fuck, it really does), it's just that my mentality as come to accept that I don't have the time to cry or even really acknowledge any deaths. Within the passing few months, all I have been able to do is to fight and heal- I've slept for merely five hundred hours within the whole year (despite my usual 2372 as I used to sleep, on average, about six and a half hours a day), surviving off of pills and chakra to keep me awake and give me nutrients, as well as the adrenaline of war. Some days I'd be able to sleep for three hours at the most, while others I either didn't sleep at all or I had about ten minutes. As soon as I'd drift into deep slumber, I'd be forced awake, having to immediately save some ninja's life and then another's after him and another twenty after her and another hundred after them. Then, if I was lucky, I could try to fall asleep again, only to be reawakened within minutes and having to start the whole process again.

Fuck, I really am struggling with this whole 'keep your mind clear' thing. Whoops. That's the Haruno gene for you, sometimes it's almost as if we have more than one person inside of our heads (that's a misconception, by the way, we actually are just incredible at multitasking and we also have a tendency to mask our actual feelings for the benefit of appeal to others as well as a very short temper). My father, especially, can change is mind and attitude so quickly and easily that it's almost as if there's this switch in the back of his head that dictates everything about his mood. I wonder how he's doing, now that I think about it. I wonder if he and okaa-san and everyone else left in the village have any idea how badly the war is going for us, or have any idea that we're going as far as attempting time travel because we're so desperate?

Well, actually, I know for a fact that they have no idea.

And I don't know which saddens me more- The fact that they don't know that they might never see me again or the fact that they have hope of seeing me again. Hope is great, don't get me wrong, but the possible disappointment that follows can be suffocating sometimes and, in our world, we don't have any energy to fight off our own internal demons. In fact, most of the time, we don't even have the time to worry or mourn about anything.

Ah, I'm beginning to go in circles. Sorry, it's a habit of mine, especially when I'm anxious, to repeat information in my head- It helps me relax, knowing what is what and how things are, following a system of if things have changed and how and why they've changed and what I can do to either prevent, help or accomplish something… God, I loathe curiosity; it's like a seemingly endless ditch in the ground that you know you shouldn't leap into but you do it anyway- you never know what's going to be at the bottom of it (and nine times out of ten, it's never something good) but you just really want to know anyway, because that's how the human mind works. I'm a medical ninja, I've studied the mind in depths far greater than this metaphorical ditch I've made up, but I still don't really understand it. Why did I even agree to this whole time travel thing anyway? To save the world, obviously. But I could die in the process and that would mean that our side just lost an elite medical ninja/decent fighter… This could quite easily do more harm than good.

Why am I thinking? I'm not supposed to be thinking. Stop thinking. Fuck, why is the brain so loud? Why can't I just stop my internal voices from screaming? Why am I- I'm doing it again. I'm thinking. I shouldn't be thinking. My lack of self-control is pitiful, all I need to do is stop, but why can't I?

Wait. That's it.

The jutsu. I've done it. I can feel it, although I don't know when I starting feeling it, but I can just feel success in my bones. The jutsu had been completed.

And sure enough, as I thrust myself forwards, my torso coming upright from a sleeping position, my heart beating mercilessly, I find myself in the very room I grew up in.

 _It actually worked._

* * *

Okay, so I know I have a lot of editing to do at a later date but I was really happy to finally get this prologue done so I just posted it immediately. Also, I apologise for any OOCness (but it is a fanfiction so you should expect at least some anyway), any cringe (because I'm sappy AF) and for the awful narration of this chapter. It will improve at some point after I edit it, I promise xD

Anyhow, hello there! ~ You can call me Karamel and I will be the author of this story. I'm really happy if anyone had actually taken the time to read this, so thank you ;3; I have fallen in love with the concept of time travel as of recent and have finally decided to do something with this passion of mine. Yes, I am fully aware that there are hundreds upon hundreds of other time travel-based Naruto fanfictions out there but I have yet to come across one quite like what I've planned.

The SasuSaku will be quite a slow process, I warn you, as I've decided to take a very non-Sakura route of Sakura and make her over Sasuke at the moment (obviously that will change, and probably quite soon too xD) as, to be honest, he was a dick to her most of the Shippuden series.

I have read up to the final chapter of Naruto and Naruto Gaiden as well as having watched all of the films so I am aware of how Naruto actually ends, but I decided that I wanted this to be set before Sasuke arrives on the battlefield to join the alliance. Speaking of, the war arc in this is not completely the same as in Naruto as the battles at the time of this chapter were random. This is just 'The Fourth Great Shinobi War' against Madara. Bearing that all in mind, I hope you all enjoy the story nonetheless ;DD

All of the characters (if I have decided against OCs which is very probable) and most concepts belong to **Masashi Kishimoto** , although the storyline is very much mine apart from some events that may occur due to timetravel.

Please review, follow and favourite as I would love to hear all of your opinions and clear up any confusion about anything written so far.

Until next time, my lovelies ~~

xox


	2. Chapter 1: A Team Worth Remembering

**perturbation**

ˌpəːtəˈbeɪʃ(ə)n/

 _noun_

 **1**. anxiety; mental uneasiness.

 _"she sensed her friend's perturbation"_

 _()_

 **2**. a deviation of a system, moving object, or process from its regular or normal state or path, caused by an outside influence.

 _"these shifts and swings in wildlife populations are possibly related to climatic perturbations"_

 _()_

 **3.** A small distortion (from its normal shape) of an object or of the spacetime curvature around an object.

 _"her time travel was a perturbation"_

* * *

 ** _Chapter 1 of X _****_/_** ** _Past Time._** **_/ 6YRS 4MNS 16DYS left._**

 _"A Team Worth Remembering"_

 _(please note that this chapter is set after team 7 is formed, two weeks after the return from the Land of the Waves)_

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The small, white clock that had been hung up just before I became a genin obnoxiously screams, a slight chattering able to be heard from just outside my window. Children, I can tell they are, probably playing the ninja game that all the boys and some of the girls played when I was their age; they throw paper shiruken and yell and run so unstealthily, pretending to be something that throws shirukens so sharp and real, something that wouldn't dare make a noise as they sneak up on their enemy, something with a stealth so great that it would take mastery to sense it. They squeal so loudly, happily, their voices a light echo brought blissfully by the wind. I can sense where every single one of them are, by their voices and their loud footing and their raw but slight chakra signals, and honestly, it's the most comforting feeling I've had in years.

But _fuck_.

My body feels so heavy… It's like my muscles are being forced into a containment of skin that's far too thin and feeble for them; my bones ache, as if they've been moulded down into the bones of my childhood, although I suppose they have. Another, more surprising feeling is the one of my heart- it feels lighter, almost wrong in my chest, and it's fluttering is slightly and noticeably faster than what I'm used to. Perhaps, in comparison to the one I usually feel, it's easy to tell the difference, but growing up, it would've easily slipped my mind.

And _fucking hell_ , my head is by far the worst- I think calling it a 'migraine' would be far too generous. I can actually feel the blood pulsing through my head.

Suddenly, there's a sequence of knocking at my bedroom door, causing me to immediately tense, with my heart speeding up even more in anxiety. Now comes the hard part: blending in with little Sakura and her old, girly habits of life. Speaking of, _how old_ even am I? Judging by my body, I think looking down at my hands, probably no older than I was when I first became a genin and, now that I think about it, my hair feels much heavier, meaning that it's probably still long. Casting a glance at my shoulders and becoming conscious of the feeling along my bare arms, my suspicion is confirmed; long, wavy, cherry-blossom locks cascade down me, the feeling sending chills down my spine as if it isn't my own hair.

"Sakura, darling, are you up? You're later than usual," I recognise the now-younger voice as belonging to my mother, her tone slightly stricter than of recent (she lost the habit of scolding me after I became a chunin and stopped listening to every word she said so I could help at the hospital), "I know you just came back from your mission and you're probably tired, but your sensei instructed that you be there for training this morning. Are you doing your hair? Sakura, can I come in?"

God, she talks _a lot_. Sighing, I force myself to speak in a slightly higher pitch than I'm used to, crawling out of bed and immediately finding myself leaning on my desk for support. Oh, please don't tell me I'm going to have to get used to walking- I suppose I can blame it on this said mission, though?

"I'm up, kaa-san, I'm up," I basically squeal, forcing a giggle of some sort, "You don't need to come in,"

After hearing her receding footsteps disappear almost completely, I throw on my old clothes within seconds, run a brush through my hair and put on my headband. As if stuck in an all-to-familiar routine, I go to stuff my pouch with a few tools, mentally bashing my head against the table when I see the lack of tools I actually have. _I'll_ _have to buy some_ , I make a mental note, _if I have any hope of becoming stronger._

I slip out of my room, smiling bitterly at the corridor as I suddenly remember how this house was completely and utterly destroyed in Pein's attack, my heart suddenly dropping into my stomach with some sad emotion that I can't quite place. It's probably longing, though, for my parents to be able to have this house back in my own time, knowing how much they loved it. Losing the house, I think, made them realise the seriousness of the situation I'd got myself caught up in. Forcing myself to brush away anymore thoughts of how things could be, I make my way down stairs, leaning on the wall more than I would normally.

The first and only thing I focus on is the vivid image of my mother; her dark blonde hair is tied up in a small ponytail, a pale yellow apron- one that I'd seen her wear so many times in my childhood- is thrown over her usual magnolia qipao dress as she makes her awful pancakes. She's never been able to cook, my mother, but she always tried and, every time she did so, I'd shut her down saying that I was getting too fat or that her food was repulsive. I'd take it all back if I could, honestly, I'd sit down at that table and I'd eat her awful food for hours on end just to be with her.

But I _can't_.

I may have travelled back in time, but I still need to make myself seem as me-like as possible. For the sake of the mission, I can't tell anyone, that much is obvious, and I really shouldn't draw any unneeded attention to myself. I should be Haruno Sakura, young and squeaky and ignorant.

But, for some reason, I find myself sitting down at the table anyway, the intention of rejecting my mother's cooking is pushed far behind the thoughts of being with her for just one, single moment before I have to focus solely on the mission. Waiting patiently, drumming my fingers (which I know notice are painted a very lightly cherry-blossom pink) on the table, I notice her melodic voice humming an old nursery rhyme she'd sing me to sleep with when I was very, very little.

 _'Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms,_

 _Blanketing the countryside,_

 _As far as you can see._

 _Is it a mist, or clouds?_

 _Fragrant in the morning sun._

 _Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms,_

 _Flowers in full bloom.'_

"Oh!" The blonde exclaims, nearly dropping the pan, clearly shocked to see me staring at her almost expectantly, "Sakura, sweetheart, you were quick. Well, you look a bit messier than usual. Why haven't you straightened your hair?"

I shrug, unable to bite back a smile, now my own humming subconsciously finishing the song.

 _'Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms,_

 _Across the Spring sky,_

 _As far as you can see._

 _Is it a mist, or clouds?_

 _Fragrant in the air._

 _Come now, come,_

 _Let's look, at last!'_

"I just didn't feel like it, I guess," I eventually answer, not putting much thought into it, "What's for breakfast?"

"You want _breakfast_?" She stutters, surprised at first. Seemingly deciding not to question it any further, the woman pops some pancakes onto my plate, "Pancakes, like always! You know my pancakes are the best~~"

Instead of answering anything back, I just nod curtly, pleased when she takes a seat in front of me. Her eyes, almost identical in appearance to mine, seem to be echoing the huge grin on her face (if that's even possible) and she seems to be positively _beaming_ in absolute bliss.

The kitchen seems foreign to me yet also unmistakably familiar; like, I know the little white plates are in the third cupboard across from the wall, their rims designed with intricate patterns, but, somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like I need to confirm it anyway. The house, despite feeling very real at the touch of my bare feet and slender hands, seems like it's just a part of a hazy dream I'm having- I'm sitting in the house I grew in, was raised in and took for granted; I'm sitting in the house that was destroyed beyond simple repair, enjoying a nice breakfast with my my mother who's taken back that I even decided to eat with her.

It's _surreal_.

"Your father won't be back until Wednesday," Okaa-San suddenly informs me, putting a mouthful of slightly undercooked pancake into her mouth with a basic-enough-looking fork, "He's being escorted to Suna, hopes he can sell some of the recent goods his company has made,"

Of course, how could I forget? Oto-San used to run a small-scale company with some other non-ninjas in the village; for some reason, both sets of my grandparents had decided against their children being ninja, although I'm relatively sure that it was because a ninja war was being rumoured at the time and they didn't want their children to be a part of it. It's a logical excuse, I guess, although my parents actually had never even wanted to be ninjas in the first place- It had taken me months of crying and begging for them to allow me to even attend the academy. If they had any idea about what my life would become because of it, they probably would've locked me away and never even allowed me to know what the word even means on a litertary scale. I have the most overprotective parents of all time and, although it annoys me at times, I love them for it.

"Ah, I see," I nod, completely unaware of the date (it could be Tuesday for all I know) as I chew on a plastic-tasting lump of chocolate, before abruptly standing up and shoving my plate into the sink, "Sorry Kaa-san, I have to go,"

With that, I kiss her cheek and walk out of the house, rendering her speechless.

 **;.-.;**

I arrive at the training ground in roughly twenty minutes, trying my hardest to ignore everyone and everything. At the same time, I feel an overwhelming sense of nostalgia that almost brings me to tears, but I ignore it, only to almost choke on that very thought when I come face-to-face with someone I haven't seen in weeks.

 _Naruto_.

His golden hair is just as untamed and messy as always, his blue, blue eyes brighter and happier than I've seen them in years despite the annoyed expression plastered on his face. I'd forgotten how obnoxiously vibrant his orange-and-blue jumpsuit had been, and seeing him so short and loud almost causes me to break down; he's _alive_ , he's _safe_ and he's _ignorant_ to the cruelty that is to come. My best and most important friend, protected by the sweetness of naïvety.

"Sakura-chan!" He stops his conversation when he sees me, the brightest smile in existence replacing his scorn and I feel my stomach knot in heartbreak.

"Hey, Naruto," I greet back, a little bit breathlessly, forgetting how strange it was when I didn't refer to him as '-kun', too occupied with keeping my emotions in check. In fact, I feel like I'm doing something else strange, too... Like I'm ignoring something... Something _very_ important.

My eyes widen.

Oh, _fuck me_.

Like a knife plunged straight through my gut, I see it. I see _him_. Uchiha Sasuke, with his expressionless face and seemingly bored eyes, is standing right in front me, young and innocent and _here_. Not in the clasps of Orchimaru, not murdering my own allies, not shattering every bond he's ever had; _here_ , as close to happy as he's ever been in his entire life, quiet and kind. _Here_ , in front of me, without any intention of driving a lightening-charged katana straight through my heart.

"S-Sasuke!" I gasp, unable to control any more of my burdening emotions, his presence just being far too much for me to handle. I don't cry, I can't even bring myself out of shock to do that, but I feel so close it that it's almost unbearable. For the first time in years, his gaze holds no real malice or pure evil- he isn't even capable of showing anything even remotely similar to what he becomes, at the moment, the only emotion I can see in his deep, dark eyes being confusion.

 _Fuck_.

"Sakura-chan?" It's Naruto that snaps me out of my pathetic state, his fingers coming to rest on one of my shoulders, "Are- Are you okay? You're acting a bit-" he hesitates, "Well, _weird_ ,"

"What?" I fumble, immediately realising how intently I'm staring at Sasuke and how grounded I look- The twelve-year-old Haruno Sakura, because that's how old I am currently, would of course stare at him and squeal, but she would never give him the look I just gave him. I could feel it when my eyes locked with his, the shock on his face and the utter _fear_ on mine. He isn't the Uchiha Sasuke I'm used to, and yet I'm treating him as if he's the same, twisted man that ruined all of the purity I regarded love with.

"Are you feeling okay?" Naruto asks again, his kind heart immediately taking action, and, although I know he's only touching my forehead to check my temperature, I can prominently see the blush on his cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye, as I'm facing Naruto with Sasuke now slightly behind me, I can see the complete and utter speechlessness on the young Uchiha's face. I'm being unfair, I know, but I just can't help it. All the unmeasurable amounts of affection that I once felt for him is now non-existent, instead, in its place, is terror and fright.

Not really wanting to but knowing that I have to, I push Naruto's hands away from me, throwing him a faked look of disgust before inhaling deeply.

"Gee, Naruto, don't touch me, you idiot. I'm _fine_ ," I hiss, not an ounce of my heart in my words, complete guilt shattering my heart when I see the hurt look in his eyes, before throwing away all of my dignity and squealing, loudly: "I was just shocked with how amazing my Sasuke-kun looks today! Gah~~"

At this, Sasuke only rolls his eyes and Naruto seems to slightly relax; despite his evident crush on me, he managed to be so selfless and care only about my feelings without feeling an inch of hate towards Sasuke for my currently-faked crush on him. He's always the same Uzumaki Naruto and I feel so stupid for not having realised how great he was when we were genin- I really, _really_ love him and I'm going to try and start our friendship much earlier on. I can't do it straight away though, because that isn't how friendship works, and I have to do it without drawing any suspicion, as sad and cruel as that sounds.

"Why are you so late today?" Surprsingly, it's actually Sasuke who asks this, brushing off my teenage attempt at flirting, the very suspicion I want to avoid very clear on his face. Taking another look at his features, to reply, I brush away all panic and alarm that I feel towards Sasuke, almost forcefully. At the same time, though, instead of seeing the bloodthirsty and inhumane monster I've come to associate the very man in front of me with, I see a small boy just wanting to avenge the death of the people that matter most to him, _hurt_ and _alone_ and very, very _broken_.

He was once like this, just needing guidance yet far too proud to ask for it, instead hiding behind a mask of being this untouchable and unreachable prodigy- Just like me, his stomach twists at the thought of murder, his bones shake at the very thought of it and yet, somewhere in the back of his head, he knows he has to do it. His goal is to kill his brother and he will do everything he can to do it, despite not even wanting to. The difference between this Sasuke and the slightly older Sasuke is this supposed ' _want_ ', the Sasuke I know laughs at death as if it's a game and as if every life he kills is truly irrelevant, like a point system almost. The Sasuke I know is the definition of evil, yet this boy- This _Sasuke_ \- looks at me with eyes that convey nothing even _slightly_ close to that.

"My hair took extra, extra long today~~" I giggle, twirling the said hair, causing him to narrow his eyes in what seems like disgust. _Figures_ , I'd be disgusted too.

"It looks nice," Of course, it's my knuckleheaded best friend that says this, his cheeks more scarlet than his mother's hair, his fingers fiddling with the hem of his jacket, "It looks really, really nice, Sakura-chan, like always,"

 _Oh, Naruto. What were you back in the day, hey? Now, you don't even have the time to consider any form of romantic relationship, the only thought ever on your mind either being victory or bringing your best friend back._

"Well, hello there," An all-too-familiar voice chuckles, causing me to whip round to face the new figure. Not surprisingly, it's our sensei, regarding us with love that doesn't even hold a candle to the love he has for us in the future. Kakashi-sensei, with his silver hair and mask, stands with that stupid book in his hands, his eyes smiling more than his mouth will ever to us.

The training ground, the same one we became a part of Team 7 on, looks just as I remember it; there are three logs in the middle of this field, surrounded by an array of beautiful, stunning trees with patches of grassless land amongst the very grassy areas. I almost didn't notice the feel of the bright, glorious, yellow sun on my pale complexion, the clear, cobalt-blue sky sparkling marvellously against it. _Summer_ , I breath in, the fresh air (thankfully and incredibly ash-less) feeling so right and so _good_ in my lungs. Sasuke stands leaning against the end right pole, Naruto in front of and between the other poles and me between them, Kakashi-sensei, who's now dropped his book down to his hips, is just a little in front of all of us.

"Kakashi-sensei, you're late again!" Naruto yells in a childish manner, completely forgetting any concern he had for me moments ago, his finger pointed at the oldest of us, accusingly. Sasuke, who is as silent as he always was when we used to train together, also offers a glare to our teacher but he characteristically refrains from making a moment, although his annoyance is vivid.

"Well, you see, I was-" The man begins one of his usual lies, causing all of us to roll our eyes simultaneously, making me chuckle inwardly. Despite our dark, dark future, we still managed to be so close in our own little weird ways, although we'd definitely deny it if anyone asked. Behind the petty arguments and the sour expressions, we were truly the closet team of all time; not even with Sai or Yamato did we work better than we did with Sasuke. _Woah_. I just realised- _Sai_! He's probably still in ROOT at this very moment, miserable and emotionless, his life nothing but a board game controlled by Danzo. Oh, that's right, Danzo still exists too... How _joyous_.

"Alright, so I hoped we'd be able to work on you three- or us four- as a group compared to our usual focus on self-improvement," My black-haired, gone-rogue teammate simply gazes more intently at our sensei whilst justice-crazy Naruto verbally complains, saying he would rather die than work with Sasuke, "Exactly, Naruto- My point is, I want to change that opinion of yours. The reason we're put in teams is to help and be helped by our comrades; this was the first lesson I ever taught you, or have you already forgotten?"

"Sensei, if you don't mind me interjecting," I say, only to retrieve three shocked gazes. _Wow_ , I really am a _barrel of surprises_... I guess I normally wouldn't ever dream to interrupt a teacher? I can't really remember in detail every habit of my teenage self, which is probably really, really bad, but I have to change things somehow, "I would like to focus on chakra control some more,"

 _Please, please, please tell me we've already been on to the mission to the land of the waves or else I've just ruined everything..._

"Oh, really?" Kakashi chuckles in response, relieving me instantly, "You're already pretty good at that, Sakura, I thought that would be the least of your concerns,"

 _Please_. I'm not stupid, I know how advanced chakra control is in later stages, and I know these later stages exist- I know how to use them brilliantly! Logically, the quicker we look at techniques that I was taught by Tsunade, the quicker I can use my normal abilities without earning too much judgement and curiosity.

"As you said, sensei, we're practicing teamwork. I may be better than most at it, but these two certainly aren't- No offence, guys. It makes sense if, rather than trying to force us to make sense of an instruction as vague as 'work together', that we work on a particular area and try and incorporate teamwork into it,"

 _That, and I really, really need to test out my abilities._

"Wow, Sakura-chan. You're so cool," The only blond amongst us gushes, almost dazedly, a big pink blush plaguing his face. I forgot how weird Naruto's flirting attempts were, especially coming from his twelve-year-old self; it's flattering, I guess, but I am an _eighteen-year-old_ woman and he's _twelve,_ and as much as I find Naruto attractive (that is, as a seventeen-year-old, muscular hero who is far taller and manlier than a twelve-year-old), his current little body does nothing but make me want to mother him- He's shorter than me right now and, even though you can see the outline of muscles from his relentless training, the only things he and older Naruto share (physically) are his blue, blue eyes and his golden hair and whiskers.

The same could be said for Sasuke, too. As much as his seventeen-year-old self terrifies me, I cannot deny the pure _sexiness_ he has with those cold, obsidian eyes that contrast perfectly against his pale skin- But, as much as I find myself physically attracted to him, his eyes (though indeed beautiful) are emotionless and his expressions are nothing but cruel; he lacks _warmth_ and, despite everything that I used to believe, I need warmth from a person to even slightly like them in _any_ way. Overbearing confidence ( _arrogance_ ) and an inability to let others in is not as attractive as a lot of people make it out to be, I can say that from experience myself.

But, truthfully, I was never attracted to a completely cold and hard-hearted Sasuke; even though I thought he'd been so cool with that robotic demeanour, by the time I began to get to know him on Team 7, all he ever really showed me was kindness. Naruto, working his usual friendship magic, I think, saved him a little bit, showed him humanity and prevented him from having true and utterly loneliness, just like Naruto has done to countless amounts of people.

"Alright, I guess we can do that," Our sensei nods, flashing what I can tell is a smile by the slight crinkle of his eyes, although I don't miss Sasuke's pointed and suspicious gaze, that lingers just a little too long on me for it to be my own paranoia playing tricks on me. Unable to do anything about it, though, I simply ignore it, casting a fake smile onto my face.

 **;.-.;**

In the end, I was forced to relearn walking on water, although I didn't have to fake finding it too difficult as I have always been renowned for my impeccable chakra control. Naruto, whose future chakra control almost surpasses mine, struggles agonisingly, hissing and cussing repeatedly every time he falls through the water, and even Sasuke, an Uchiha, is finding it pretty hard too (although he refuses to broadcast his frustration as verbally as Naruto). Whilst they try to master this simple technique, Kakashi and I are sitting quite far away from them, dangling our legs into the water as we roll any bottom-half clothes of ours up.

We're in the same springs that Naruto once told me was where Jiraya first taught him how to do this very technique, and I can't help but smile at the thought; he's so stressed and exhausted fighting in the war and, seeing him like this, also struggling but on a completely different scale with completely different circumstances, is one of the most refreshing sights I've seen in a long, long time. Although I'm fully aware that avoiding Sasuke and his gaze is probably just making me seem even more suspicious to him, I do it anyway, not quite fully able to shake away the image of what he becomes from my mind- He's still Sasuke, despite his age, and the only Sasuke I know is _evil_.

"Say, Sakura," Kakashi-sensei begins, not bothering to face me as he reads his smutty book (which Tsunade once forced me to read when she thought I had become 'sexually frustrated'-which hadn't been the case, by the way) in one of his hands. The other, the one not on my side, is leaning against the cobblestone floor, his body ever-so-slightly shifted away from me, "What do you think of Naruto?"

 _... What?_

"Erm- pardon? I-I don't know what you mean, Kakashi-sensei," I hear my voice stutter slightly and inwardly groan in annoyance. He's going to misunderstand completely, thinking I'm flustered, I can tell.

"Well, I mean, since the mission in the Land of the Waves, you seem to have started to appreciate him more. You used to be very Sasuke-centric and, although you still are still very… erm- should I say… _obsessed_ with him, you seem to be paying Naruto attention more often than you used to, and I can't help but think of his romantic interest in you-"

"No, not at all," I interrupt immediately, probably much softer than I would've actually done so as a twelve-year-old, realising exactly what he's inferring, "I'm not romantically interested in Naruto, not even in the slightest bit, sensei. He's my teammate, of course I'd pay attention to him- I pay the same attention to you and to Sasuke," I sigh, before allow my mistake to process, and, as quickly as I can, I blurt out a slightly-too-loud-to-appear-normal "-kun"

"That's quite a mature answer," He muses, still not bothering to look up from his book, clearly not registering my own error himself. _Figures_ , he's so obsessed with porn that I could literally straight-out tell him I'm from the future and he wouldn't even lift an eyebrow.

"I CAN'T DO IT! ARGHHHHH! THIS IS SO HARD!" We suddenly hear Naruto erupt, seeming to have finally had enough of his failure. Despite not saying anything, but by the deep scowl embedded on the dark-haired survivor's face, it's obvious that the team's only Uchiha seems to share the blonde's same resolve. Unable to contain a laugh, I stand up with a sigh, finally causing Kakashi to look up from his book and question my motive.

Shrugging, I utter a simple, "I'm going to see if I can help- this is a teamwork exercise, after all," and jog over to my two incapable comrades, leaving the older man (but, weirdly, not by much because I'm actually eighteen) to his porn.

As I walk closer to them, I see that Sasuke and Naruto have changed position now, the louder of the two standing in the shallowest part of the water whilst the other rests an elbow against his knees, crouching into a feet-only sitting position, with his other arm leaning against the ground to support him. The focus on their faces seems unbreakable, both sending a strangely fixated glare to the water, as I approach them, hovering above Sasuke who doesn't seem to even notice me. What's new, am I right? I grimace at my own history with the said boy, unable to stomach my disgusting clinginess to him.

Sorry, Sasuke.

"You two seem to be doing well," I state with a slight chuckle, sarcasm cheerfully slipping into my voice, "Do you want some help?"

"Hell yeah, Sakura-chan! Thanks!" Cheers the blond knucklehead, who's turned around to face me already, at the same time as a bitter brooding Sasuke growls a firm "No."

 _Thick-headed, proud idiot. You'll be your own downfall._

With a sigh, I send a shrug in his direction, ignoring the fact that I'm supposed to be in love with him, instead walking over to Naruto (walking on water that is, because, unlike them, I can do it- _flawlessly_ ), grabbing his hand and pumping chakra into it. Immediately, he floats, standing on the surface of the water, his eyes wider than his own rasengan. Okay, _maybe_ I'm pushing it a little bit, this 'chakra-pumping' being a very complex technique that only the highest level of medical ninjas have the ability to do, but I'm sure that Kakashi is too distracted to notice I'm doing it and most people wouldn't even be able to tell that I am indeed doing it.

Okay, that's good, it seems like I have most of my abilities, excluding my raw strength which I can get back with a lot of training, but I'm fairly certain that my 'Strength of a Hundred' seal is further away from being unlocked than it used to be, which is awful but I wouldn't have been able to conceal that sort of strength so it's also really, really fortunate.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto calls out quizzically, clearly unsure with this whole 'floating-on-water' thing, "What are you doing?"

"Naruto, can you feel where my chakra is in your body?" I ask, ignoring his question, focusing simply on helping him, "Can you sense the foreign presence that's disturbing your body?"

"You mean, in my stomach?"

Oh, someone else send me strength. This Naruto isn't even fully aware of Kurama yet.

"No, try focusing a little bit more on your feet," With more patience than I was aware I possessed, I instruct him, firmly and as naturally as breathing, as if I'm leading a surgery, "Can't you feel my chakra? You should be able to- erm- see it, almost, like where my chakra is taking up residence, the veins and the pressure points, yeah?"

"Yeah, I do!" He, to my surprise, yells out.

"Good, now channel your chakra to those exact points, evenly," I say, bluntly.

And, with that, I let go of his hand, causing him to topple into the water with a shriek, as I just about- well, more like, as I really _easily_ \- leap out of the way of a splash and next to Sasuke. Despite his sudden fall, Naruto seems to perfectly be able to float back onto the water, his focus rivalling that of his future self. He's got it, I can tell, his technique is practically perfect although, to my trained eye, I can tell that he needs to even the spread of chakra just a little bit- But he's got it. Sasuke, who was listening intently, seems to have also gained an idea of how to do it. With a smirk, he places two feet onto the water, flawlessly gliding across the spring, his control perfect, in fact, just as good as mine. That's the Uchiha bloodline, for you- Itachi was just as immaculate, too.

 **;.-.;**

That evening, Naruto insisted on our team going to ramen to celebrate our 'awesomeness as a team', and so, at half eight at night, that's why I find myself sitting in Ichiruku, in between the wall and the teammate I once swore my eternal, undying love to. The me from a few months ago would be rendered speechless at the sight, although I just find it sadly ironic, almost used to his presence but also constantly reminding myself why it's so strange that he's sat next to me. For what seems like the first time today, I digest a very unbelievable piece of information- I'm _in the past_.

 ** _I'm actually in the past._**

It is my mission to save the world, as well as another world, and I'm sitting here, eating ramen with one of the most notorious criminals-to-be of all time, who I was once helplessly in love with, after teaching the strongest person I know how to do something as simple as walk on water… I've time travelled, I'm from the future, _AND I'M EATING RAMEN_. Eating _ramen_! Erm… _what_?! What is happening to my life? Out of all the things I could be doing- telling the hokage, training, plotting Orchimaru's impending doom, trying to locate Madara, stocking up on incredibly needed tools, trying to come up with a plausible excuse from my sudden burst in strength- I happen to be doing the most Naruto-like thing in existence; _I'm eating cheap ramen_.

Thinking about the events of today, it's been so nice to be happy and careless for once, not even bothering to hide my abilities and attitude change, really- I've had a day that I've only ever dreamed about having for the past four-and-something years, and it's been the most blissful feeling that I've probably ever had. Just, knowing that, once upon a time that happens to be very soon, everything will go to absolute shit and not doing anything about it but simply relaxing to the lightest training in the world, is undeniably euphoric. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, honestly, although I know that I can't put it off for much longer- I have to do something to save the world, I have to find that weapon or locate Madara or become insanely strong or figure out how to get back to my own world or- or just- just- just do something.

"Today was pretty sweet," Naruto announces suddenly, slurping his sixth bowl of ramen up in an almost animalistic fashion, pausing his eating to speak, "Thanks, Sakura-chan, it's all thanks to you, although Teme here is far too stubborn to admit it,"

I giggle at the comment, which has caused Sasuke to look even moodier than usual, his glare meant to murder an oblivious Naruto, and I just can't help but smile whole-heartedly. Although I dare not say anything about it, I don't miss the slight curl of Sasuke's lips as he clearly half-heartedly rolls his- now that I think about it- _warm_ eyes. For the first time today, all trace of suffocating fear for the boy beside me has vanished without a trace, his inhumanity forgotten for just this instance. I'll cower in fright tomorrow, no doubt about it, but, for now, the initially faked look of fondness I send to him may not be so faked after all.

And, just for this single moment, I'll pretend that my dysfunctional team are simply misunderstood and that, when tomorrow comes, everything will be fine and simple and, even though it's wrong for me to even want it, that I'll have a normal day with my genin team.

 **;.-.;**

I fall onto my bed at about ten o'clock, exhausted. My muscles ache, my mind is scrambled all over the place and I have mountains-worth of problems to sort out, problems that will no doubt take years' worth of struggle to even begin to become understandable. I have so, so, so much to do and, I fear, nowhere near enough to time to even start it, despite it being essential that I complete it let alone ' _start_ ' it. Tomorrow, I'll shower in the morning, pop out to a few ninja shops to stock up on equipment and then take a trip to the achieves and see if I can find anything of my three subjects of research- Returning to my word, this so-called mystical weapon that will save said world and the location of the mastermind known as Uchiha Madara, because that son of a bitch still exits.

Then, now that I think about it, I'd really like to save Sasuke, so I'll do some research on Oto and the cursemark- Maybe I can figure out a way to rid people of it? Or, maybe, which surprisingly seems less probable, I can just kill Orichimaru? Well, if I can manage to kill Uchiha Madara, I doubt Orichmaru will be that hard; I'll just have to train an impossible amount for the next few months leading up to the chunin exams. Fuck, how much time do I even have?

We just came back from the mission that was held in the Land of the Waves, so I doubt much time at all- Maybe a month? Maybe two? _Fuck_ , why is everything so impossible to achieve? I'm going to have to blow the cover of immature, fangirl Haruno Sakura, though, because there is no way in hell I can keep up with acting and being careful not to say anything about the future. Like, imagine if I leaked out, to Sasuke, that his family were killed because of Konohagakure and not because of Itachi's cruel ways?

Yeah, goodbye annoying fangirl.

 _You won't be missed._

* * *

And that concludes Chapter 1! ~

This was slightly more rushed than I would've liked it to be but some family drama decided to pop up and so I have to get on a plane first thing tomorrow morning, and I didn't want to leave huge gaps between updates. I'll try to update at least once every two weeks, but it'll probably be weekly anyway.

Also, I would like to note that, even though this chapter may seem very light, it is for the purpose of simply setting up Sakura's longing of this nomality she had as a genin and the fact that, although she knows she has a very important mission, she cannot control herself. It is also, more so, the calm before the storm. And that's all I'm really going to say on that matter- I don't like spoiling anything that is to come, but I can promise you that this is going to get hella complicated. *smirks*

I hope you're enjoying this! Please, give feedback! I want to make sure I answer any questions of confusion, as I know that how I'm setting the plot up could be easily misunterepted or I've probably missed out a few vital facts that are just simply floating about my mind. Also, criticism is very much welcomed, please, rain it down on me!

Okay, so until next time. Goodbye, my lovelies,

\- Karamel xox

(also, I fear that the pace is too quick? Agree or disagree?)


	3. Chapter 2: A Laugh of Another Time

**perturbation**

ˌpəːtəˈbeɪʃ(ə)n/

noun

 **1.** anxiety; mental uneasiness.

 _"she sensed her friend's perturbation"_

()

 **2.** a deviation of a system, moving object, or process from its regular or normal state or path, caused by an outside influence.

 _"these shifts and swings in wildlife populations are possibly related to climatic perturbations"_

()

 **3.** A small distortion (from its normal shape) of an object or of the spacetime curvature around an object.

 _"her time travel was a perturbation"_

* * *

 **Chapter 2 of X. /  Past Time. / 6YRS 4MNS 15DYS left.**

 _"A Laugh of Another Time"_

( _please note Sakura does not realise she likes Sasuke in this chapter at all, despite what it may seem like_ )

Long, cascading hair sways elegantly in some sudden breeze, the colour a rich and pale blonde; a shade all too familiar to me. A woman, obviously, stands- or maybe, more accurately, floats?- with her back to me, her blatant curves and arches exposed by a tight-fitting robe of some sort. It's a back I've seen many times, I subconsciously note, one strong and proud, one that could only belong to a leader with great intensity yet also a meaningful respect for their followers- A great, trustworthy leader showered by loyalty and admiration. Despite my unbreakable focus on this blonde female's back- who I recognise but can't quite name- I immediately hear the soft melody she's humming, registering it in an almost desperate manner; it's familiar, yet also unbearably foreign. The voice is a deep yet also feminine one, tuneful and welcoming, and yet it also bears a tone of melancholy- Or, perhaps, more accurately, longing. It's undeniably beautiful, but, at the same time, it's like a call made for someone else to hear, and I honestly feel like allowing it to echo into my ears is nothing short of a sin. The only person who could possibly exist as the woman in front of me seems to be Tsunade, although there is a noticeable difference between this woman and my shishou.

And then, like the pieces of a puzzle have finally come together, a clarity dawns in my mind; the blonde woman, who is both my shishou and not my shishou, is simply an empty, void shadow of the woman she is to be one day in the future. Tsunade, I notice, is younger, far more lost and broken than I've ever seen her in my time of knowing her- And, as she turns around, her eyes widening in alarm, her gaze narrowing in anger as if I truly am intruding, I realise that this is a side of her she's never allowed anyone to see, let alone me. I find myself a mere couple of inches taller than her, her judging glare directed up onto my face as if it's forbidden that I've even encountered this weaker self of my teacher, and I can't help but question whether I'm back in my eighteen-year-old body or not. The Tsunade that stands proudly in front of me, her song replaced by the wickedest of scowls, is probably a couple of years younger than I am- Maybe sixteen or fifteen- and, although her muscles and curves are very prominent, that fact itself is painfully obvious.

"Who are you!?" She spits out, her voice sounds as equally affronted as it sounds affronting, a strange hint of desperation leaking through whatever barriers she's trying to hold up. Seeing the one woman I respect more than anything in the world like this- broken and helpless- truly shatters my heart into millions of tiny, tiny shards.

"I- I- I'm a ninja?" I manage to mumble surprisingly loudly, unsure whether I should I actually answer her or not, deciding it's best to be as vague as possible, "And I guess I would like to help you?"

The fifteen/sixteen-year-old opens her mouth to respond, only to instantly shut it again, clearly taken aback with shock. Lines appear on her face, her features now scrunched up in uncertainty, and she barely manages a reply. "W-What?"

"Ah, that's a question I would also like to answer for myself, but I really can't," I say slightly awkwardly, but also undeniably honestly, with the tiniest hint of a chuckle, "I don't really know what I'm doing anymore, but I do want to help you. I mean, if you need help, which you kind of obviously do? I'm sorry, I'm kind of confused as to why I can see you, and I'm a little at loss for words, I guess,"

I don't know what I'm doing or saying anymore, my instinct just taking control, and the fact that my heart is a million times bigger than my brain is truly indisputable at this point, even to myself. Tsunade- the older one- really had a point when she said that my heart is both a hindrance and a blessing, and I suppose I should just embrace that rather than try to fight it. In the last few moments I had in the present time- or, now, I suppose I should call it the future?- my teacher's words are the only part of them that even resembled anything slightly to what a farewell is supposed to. I'll probably end up carrying her words with me to my grave, especially if I don't manage to make it back, and, in some twisted way, I suppose I'm glad that it is those very words that would bid me farewell.

Surprisingly, what I next hear is not another outburst of fury or a scream questioning my mere existence, but a chuckle- A light, melodic chuckle filled with amusement and gentleness, that quickly evolves into jubilant, lively laugh. Almost as fast as her recent laugh had arrived, her voice suddenly erupts into a howling of some sorts, tears lightly lining the corners of her eyes, and I can easily identify her apparent, newly buoyant mood. Now, it's her opportunity to astound me, and, quite expectedly, she does just that.

"You're weird," she declares, the hilarity still palpable among her words, a hand raised to poorly conceal her noticeable grin. I contemplate a counter, only to be halted abruptly by an alien scream, one coated with an absolute terror so unmistakable that I can almost feel the uneven breaths against my skin. Without any warning whatsoever, Tsunade's petite (yet still enviously curvy) body ceases to exist, with only an emptiness left to replace her diminished presence. Again, I am alone, stranded in a world that is nothing but pure, untouchable white, abandoned to diagnose whatever the hell I'm doing here.

I recall this setting being exactly alike to the one I had encountered before waking up in my childhood, the one that seemed like a bridge from the present and to the past, with the same nothingness stretching beyond to the ends of this dream-like world I'm in. In some bizarre matter or another, I find myself drawn to this place, the simplicity of it oddly appealing to me and I feel as if I can finally think with some form of clarity, but only when I'm here. Normally, the events of life distract me from anything and everything, be it the war or time travel or maybe even some petty relationship problem or a fight I might've had with Ino, but this blankness allows me to think about anything (although the blankness itself does entitle some curiosity too, which, of course, just causes me to wonder about it instead of thinking useful things).

Once again made inattentive by my own mind, I hear the scream a second time, only, this time, it's even more frightened. As if on instinct, my legs begin to wander, urging themselves to locate this poor kindred spirit.

 **; .-;**

I wake up to a darkened room, the sun still masked away by the descending moon as the sky paints itself a light iron grey. It's probably about four in the morning- maybe five, at the most- and my head is throbbing, a strange emptiness in the pit of my stomach. Melancholy, I realise, plagues me, infecting my mind in a sadness that isn't quite painful- Just numb, I suppose. I stay motionless for a while, just simply existing as I authorise a number of conclusions to float aimlessly across my consciousness. Regardless to the images of the war that I harbour, that beg me to lie in a slumber so cruel and twisted, my dream had been quite pleasant- Or, more so, not as unpleasant as I'd expected it to be. Instead of death, torture and blood, accompanied by the oh-so-infamous ash of mine, I had only dreamt of helplessness and the broken shadow of my teacher. Despite my disinclining mood, I only feel utterly useless at the moment, which isn't that huge a change from the norm.

Birds, ones that I can imagine are an array of beautiful shades and intricate shapes, sing delightfully as I simply breathe, my sight a never-ending supply of onyx, my body now basking in the recently risen sun. I've been lying down, contemplating, for at least an hour now, not quite alert but definitely not exactly negligent either. Finally deciding that my thoughts have had enough time to order themselves, I free my eyes from their rest, immediately hissing at the bright light that torments my irises. The scene I'm used to, dark and apocalyptic, is very different when in juxtaposition with the sunny- almost too sunny- rays of Konaha and I can't help but inwardly complain, although it is unequivocally an improvement from the blood-red skies I am accustomed to. Pushing my weight up from my horizontal stance, I climb off of my bed, groaning internally as I catch my reflection in the mirror.

My long locks are conditioned in a manner of upright and opposing positions, tangled and dishevelled beyond the easy repair of a brush, and my eyes are redder than Sasuke's sharingan with a thick, ugly shade of purple matching the beneath of my lids- My skin, although much healthier than it had been a few days ago, is sickeningly pale, my muscles scarcely holding a candle to the capacity they once were. Although, usually, I would just roll my eyes, get in the shower and do nothing further, I somehow feel that it might be a decent idea to actually train for once in this twelve-year-old's body's existence, and eating a warm meal (preferably made by me because I know a dangerous lack of people that can actually cook) seems somewhat heavenly at the moment. Without another thought, I crawl sluggishly to the bathroom.

Within twenty minutes, I emerge from the bathroom door, wet and covered by a towel that is much larger than I recall it being. My hair drapes down my neck, sending an uncomfortable chill down my spine as I awkwardly (and slowly- very slowly) make the journey back to my room. From the obnoxiously loud humming I can distinguish with ease, I deduce that my mother is also awake now, cooking what seems to be poison. Within another ten or so minutes, I am dressed and mostly dry, and then, after yet another fifteen or so, my hair is straight and put up in a ponytail with a very attractive- If I do say so myself- braid at the side of my head. After rummaging through my completely unnecessary collection of makeup, I locate some concealer to hide away my disgustingly dark bags, before finally exiting my room. Unlike yesterday, I can establish my path down the stairs pretty damn efficiently, and so, as I arrive down at the bottom of the staircase, I discover my arm unused.

Without bothering to converse with my mother too much, I grab a piece of toast and say a rushed farewell before feeling the warm air against my skin; alas, after what seems like years, I am outside again. Many people stop to greet me, which I easily grow accustomed to fairly quickly, but I find my quest to the training grounds progressing rather slowly and, surprisingly, I don't begin to grow impatient. I forgot what it was like to live in a community of people, more concerned with their shopping lists than fighting what could be the most powerful gathering of ninjas in existence, and, unlike yesterday when I made it my sole mission to avoid everyone, chatting to the busy women and loving couples and excitable children really raised my mood- Everyone is so carefree and, honestly, I find myself becoming carefree too, as if their attitudes are a contagious disease that I would normally be trying to cure- except, this time, I don't want to cure it.

-But I happen to collide head-first into a very gorgeous antidote, anyway.

 _Of fucking course._

Uchiha Sasuke stands in his glory, blatantly angry, his finely-crafted hands instinctively resting on my hips and waist to stop my plummet. Thanks to my brilliant showcase of luck though, it doesn't work and, in seconds, I find myself rested against his broad chest, my fingers holding my weight up by the sides of his head and, rather expectedly, this catastrophe causing his demeanour to crumble into the foulest of them all. If it had been any other person, or if I had been any other person, I would've been rendered into a blushing mess, stuttering out apologies in pure embarrassment, but neither of the conditions were met; I was Haruno Sakura and he, he was Uchiha Sasuke.

And Haruno Sakura happened to both detest and fear Uchiha Sasuke, who happened to find her the epitome of worthless and aggravating- Or, more accurately, they both still very much do. No past tense needed, despite this being the past… Although, yesterday, I found myself enjoying his presence, today, it was all back to square one. What he did to me cannot be washed away in a single moment with a single smile, and that is the only resolve I am currently certain of and, definitely, will stay certain of.

"Get. Off. Of. Me," his royal highness seethes, his arrogance painfully evident as he gazes upon me in the most deadly of ways, "Now,"

 _Fucking twatface. Fight me._

"You make it sound like I want to be on you," I snort in response, easily climbing off of his annoyingly hard body, an equally murderous glare awarded to his pitiful existence, "Which, trust me, I don't nor ever will want,"

 _I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Kill yourself. Die. Stop existing._

"Tch, that's surprising," Sasuke stands up rather elegantly, his tone mocking. Immediately, he folds his arms, his navy top clearly struggling to contain his muscles, as he examines me in what could effortlessly be deducted as disgust, "Aren't you the one that continuously declares your undying love for me?"

Or _curiosity_. Disgust or curiosity- It's hard to tell with this idiot.

"Well, as I'm sure you've heard, there's a fine line between love and hate," I pretend giggle with mock sweetness, "It's was pretty blurred for me but, don't worry, it's clear now-" Pausing for empathises, I let out a girly laugh. " _I hate you,_ " I hiss, my voice possessed with a sudden tone of fury. I probably really shouldn't be saying any of this, in complete honesty, but he's making my blood boil and I've never really been one to contain my temper. Not that unsurprisingly, he raises his eyebrows in confusion and I instantly am made aware of how largely I just fucked my life over. Haruno Sakura would never, ever talk to him like this, not even in ten billion different lifetimes- I'll be caught within the day, my time travel forced public to the entire world. Madara will be alerted as if I'm a bright, flaring signal and, just like that, I'll be killed. My life is over- completely and utterly over.

Unless... I kill Sasuke...

Oh, that sure as hell does seem like the most appealing concept I have ever thought up in my entire life; the man who ruined the lives of my best friends, my teachers, innocent people, allies and everything in between, finally served a delicious (for me, anyway) meal of justice. I am a genius- What on Earth is stopping me? Oh right, basically very single bone and tendant in my body; He's young and sweet at the moment, probably far more innocent than I'll ever be, the blood stained on my hands instantly coming to mind. Sure, he's killed and hurt and destroyed lives, but he, as he is now, hasn't done any of that- There's still a chance, somehow and in some very hopeful way, there really is a possibility that I could save him. Also, at the same time, I doubt I'd even be able to kill the actual Sasuke either- He could possibly atone for his sins, regain his senses, and finally come home. Just the mere thought of it prevents me from saving the lives of hundreds and possibly thousands.

"What?" The ebony-haired boy asks, his facial expression as close to baffled as his face will ever be, and he suddenly becomes very interested in me, so much so that he actually unfolds his arms and straightens up slightly. Black eyes examine my every breath mercilessly, like a predator waiting for the perfect millisecond to sink its teeth into the flesh of an innocent prey, and, out of the millions of words written in the dictionary, I can only describe them as judgemental and suspicious. I've unmistakably fucked everything up, haven't I?

"It was a joke, Sasuke-kun," I attempt sweetly, ignoring his look of distrust and annoyance, "I could never mean that about you- You're undeniably perfect,"

No, it's pretty damn deniable actually...

"Hn, you should give up already," He scoffs, rolling his eyes, although he doesn't quite conceal the look of shock still evident on his face, probably not realising that he's even wearing it.

Oh, trust me, I've already given up on you.

Along with that thought, I feel an uncontrollable grimace overtake my fraud smile, as my heart cries out in agony with a painful throb. I hiss at my pessimism and sudden longing, cursing them to an eternity with Sasuke- One that is clearly unattainable for me. But I guess that's how it should be; Sasuke's in a different world to me (both literally and metaphorically), one that's plagued with inhumanity, with remorselessness and with darkness; one of a destroyer. I am a healer; a creator, and it's only right that we remain untangled with each other.

Growing up, especially as I was surrounded by a variety of lovesick teenage girls, I was often told the saying "opposites attract", and, like any little child obsessed with the idea of a fairy tale ending, I unquestionably believed every syllable. Yin and Yang, the sun and the moon, light and dark, evil and good, protagonist and antagonist; All perfectly balancing each other out, because, without one, the other would have no purpose- Like, how can you truly appreciate the beauty of sunrise if the sun never set? Or how could you learn to truly treasure good people if there weren't others who would hurt and torture you? I mean, I once heard that it is only in your darkest moments that you discover who your friends really are. A diamond only has worth because we give it worth, and we only trust because we chose to trust; opposites, although balancing each other out, could never attract one another. A villain and a superhero could never fall in love, like how can two people who cannot even relate to each other, mentally, even converse, let alone be attracted to one another?

And so, even though 'opposites attract' and Sasuke is my opposite, I am not attracted to him. Even though he destroys and I create, even though he is the darkness and I am the light, even though he is cold and analytical and I am warm and emotional, I am not attracted to him. Despite his undeniable sexiness (this being more about his older self) and his God-like features, I am not attracted to him.

 _I, Haruno Sakura, am not attracted to Uchiha Sasuke._

And yet, it is as this sentence indents itself into my mind that I, unwillingly, see the hurt in black orbs of the broken boy in front of me- I see humanity, raw and untainted, confused almost and, suddenly, everything makes sense. My dream's priority wasn't to force me aware of my mentor's secret trauma, but to enable me to understand that even the strongest of people have weaknesses too- That, even people crazed with power and evil, have more than a glimmer of goodness inside of them; my dream told me to reach out to Sasuke and, unlike in the other world, to actually save him.

And, honestly, it is in the darkest places that light shines brightest, vibrant amongst the cryptic shadows; his kindness, although blurred, is far more beautiful than any other kindness to exist in the world, at least to me anyway, and his kindness is far more obvious when in contrast to his other attributes in comparison to another's kindness. He, who was once envisioned as a monster who assassinated the helpless and needy, is beautiful.

 _But I'm still not attracted to him._

"Give up on what exactly?" I find myself asking, just able to recall the conversation in the midsts of my increasingly complicating ideas, "It seems as if you've only given me half of a conversation there,"

"Hn," He smirks, in a way that would be considered almost cheeky if he wasn't Uchiha Sasuke, "Half of a whole conversation? Isn't that what one usually inputs, especially when the said conversation is between two people?"

In response, I allow a sigh to escape the back of my throat, accompanied by its best friend- An eye roll. "You know what I mean," I state, flatly.

"Hn, do I really?" Another smirk overtakes his lips, in a way that's almost teasing, as he muses gently.

"Shut up," I snort.

"You'll have to ask more nicely than that, Sakura,"

"Shut up," I say again, only this time it sounds slightly more impatient.

"You're annoying," is all that he responds, with a slight chuckle (that I might've- and most likely have- imagined), before turning on his heels and leaving me alone in the street.

 **; .-;**

Approximately four and a half hours later, at exactly one o'clock, I'm nose-deep in an article written by one of Orichimaru's apprentices, uncountable amounts of papers and books piled up in front of me. My eyes, now exhausted from over three-and-a-bit hours of reading and researching, scan the words sluggishly, absorbing the information in an almost unbearably slow manner, and I manage to ignore the looming presence above me. Suddenly, a hand taps my shoulder, instantly causing me to freeze.

"That's quite a lot of reading material you have there, Sakura," Unexpectedly, it's Kakashi's voice that floats smoothly into my ears, his gaze lingering suspiciously on the file that's in my hand; Orchimaru's name is like a flare, blaring and bright, obvious against the paper background.

"Kakashi-sensei!" I exclaim as a greeting more than anything before confiding in myself to mumble an excuse, "I was just- I was just polishing my knowledge up a bit and this ninja has a very interesting biography on an ex-ninja of Konaha. I suppose it's good to be aware of our enemies as well as our allies. Teamwork isn't entirely everything, you know,"

"I suppose you have a point?" He chuckles before standing up straighter, "Well, I really ought to be going, I have a meeting with the hokage,"

"Oh, really? About what?" I find myself asking without a second thought, accustomed to knowing everything.

Surprisingly, my teacher answers without hesitation, revealing to me probably the most desirable piece of information in existence, "It's about an ancient weapon- One that has an almost unobtainable amount of power. Asuma and Kureni think they might've found it and we've discussing whether it's worth going for it or not,"

The weapon. It can't not be the weapon- It has to be the one I'm supposed to retrieve! Well, this is all going much smoother than I expected... I've already located the most important item in history; I've already located our saviour!

"You definitely have t- er- I mean, surely it's worth obtaining,"

The man nonchalantly nods and, from what I can tell, his lips are pursed together tightly. He's contemplating my words- or, maybe, something else entirely?- in a merciless manner, his beady eyes now resting on the bookshelves stationed behind me.

Hundreds and thousands of versions of different reading material lie in huge, dark oak book shelves, dust on many of the surfaces as this section tends to be ignored, all seemingly embracing the table I am seated at. There is a relatively large gap (although it's not as wide as one of the bookshelves) on either side of the circle for people to pass through, although only high-rank ninjas tend to inhabit this area. What seems to be the grandest part of the library is the thick, crimson carpet that was actually only put on half of the flooring- the other half being wooden- although the part I posses is completely covered. Euphoria ignites the most pleasant feeling within me, the homely scent of old paper and scrolls instantly causing me to time travel (again) to a time far before any I've ever lived through- Oh, how I absolutely adore being the library and how I undeniable missed it whilst I was busing myself with battles.

"Hm, perhaps," his voice carries itself distractedly, his focus clearly not on anything I'm carelessly uttering, "Well I ought to be going, good bye Sakura. Oh, and if you want any extra information, I'm very knowledgeable on Orchimaru's curse mark,"

 **; .-;**

"You know, Sakura-chan, you've been dressing differently the past two days," Naruto mentions as we make our path to Ichiraku's, the dark sky lit up the shop lights and street lanterns. We'd met up a couple of hours ago as I wanted to start training a little bit and, of course, as Naruto is always 110% up for training, he offered to help.

"Oh, really?" I imitate shock, lowering my eyebrows, "I had absolutely no idea,"

Chuckling slightly, I roll my eyes, casting a glance at his illuminated face- The yellow lighting of the buildings we pass cause the most majestic of highlights to appear on his face, his beautifully coloured eyes enhanced even more than by his usual cheerfulness. Not dissimilar to every day, those blond locks of his are untamed and messy, but I can just about determine that he's been running his hands through it repeatedly. What makes me want to laugh the most, though, is that I have to actually look slightly down to Naruto, his towering height and evident manliness no longer existent and, in its place, only the short and troubled boy I grew up with. I don't mind though, this is all pleasantly refreshing.

"Oh," the boy mumbles, now bright scarlet, "I- I mean you look great,"

"Thanks," I answer easily, inwardly in hysterics at his blushed demeanour, prying my gaze off of his small form with an unshakable smile.

I've missed this so much.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, don't you think that Kakashi-sensei has been acting weirdly recently?"

My smile instantly crumbles. I notice a tiny child crying as her mother reassures her that her dad will return soon, but, by the look on the women's face, I highly doubt that's the case. As they seem to be a non-ninja family, I can only presume that a medical illness or disease is the cause that is keeping this little girl without a father, and that ultimately breaks my heart. I'm a medical ninja, and yet I can do absolutely nothing to help her- Her father's probably already gone. And, fuck, her mother isn't even allowed to mourn because, if she mourns, the women that her little girl looks up to the most won't guide her into being happy. The women has to be strong for her daughter but I understand how hard that really is; I've seen this happen so often now and yet, every single time, I still am barely able to pull myself together.

"What do you mean?" I find myself asking, ripping my eyes away from the two females, and finally I see the tiny ramen stand within my line of sight.

"I dunno, he just has, I guess," is the response I hear as the twelve-year-old gestures for me to enter before him, his slightly chubby and small fingers holding the plastic flaps open for me. With that same smile I had before plastered onto my face, I mutter a small 'thank you' and enter the ramen shop.

"Maybe," is all I respond with, offering a smile to Ayame and Teuchi as I take a seat, unable to forget the heart-breaking scene I just witnessed.

 **; .-;**

Later that night, I'm found at the kitchen table, exhausted and resting an elbow on the wooden surface. My hair is down, long and wavy, and I'm clad in a magnolia tank top and some pale-blue cotton pyjama shorts, paper just a tiny reach away from me. Not unlike the millions I've retrieved before, it's a mission request, and, surprisingly, it isn't for a mission I've ever done before- Meaning, somehow, I triggered a chain of events that is different to my previous lifetime. Already, I've impacted fate and, by the description of the mission, not at all insignificantly. In vibrant, black kanji, it reads 'B-RANK MISSION, assisted by SARUTOBI ASUMA and HATAKE KAKASHI'; genin are only supposed to have D-rank missions and only when they're really, really experienced are they even _considered_ for a C-rank. I have no idea what I've done, but it's nothing that should be taken light-heartedly.

Equally so, to be assisted by two jonin? That means that there's no way in hell that it's just a B-rank; this is at least an A-rank mission, otherwise it would only be for a four man squad, regardless of our genin rank. I have in fact encountered cases where chunin have been sent on A-rank and genin on B-rank, and neither of any of those cases were assisted by more than the usual one jonin. But what A-rank mission would require for us to attend instead of a team of jonin or chunin? Perhaps it's specifically for Team 7 because it involves one of us?

I should go and dress myself appropriately. Without any notice, we are to start the mission tonight and be back by tomorrow night and I still haven't even bothered to change out of pyjamas. No real details have been enclosed in the job briefing, only mentioning that we are to strictly and obediently follow every order barked at us, without question or hesitation. Usually, we'd have, at the very least, a tiny section vaguely informing us of our objective, but this? It has nothing of use, at all. It only states an inaccurate rank, who is to be present, where we're meeting, the length of the mission and that we just have to follow orders; I have never, in my entire ninja career, received something as uninformative as this.

Within the next forty minutes, I am in uniform and slowly walking the streets of Konoha, more alert now than I have been in days, which is why I easily sense Sasuke's approaching figure. It almost takes me aback seeing him so laboured and tired, this clearly being the first late-night trip he's had in his little life, so much so that I have to force myself to not burst into a fit of laughter. Honestly, I've been finding everything ludicrous recently. Gradually, his frame is beside mine, his mind obviously not yet registering my occupancy, and I take this as a chance to frighten him a little bit.

"SASUKE," I bellow loudly, causing him to jolt instantly and let out a very quiet and very deep squeal (or, what I could infer as a squeal anyway, because "Uchiha's don't squeal"). A widened pair of eyes immediately glare at my amused face as I erupt into hysteria. I honestly didn't expect it to work this well.

Haha, payback's a bitch. This is great.

"Sakura," The victimised teammate of mine seethes as he comes to recognise my face, "Tch, I should've known,"

"But you _didn't_! ~~" I tease triumphantly, beyond simply pleased with myself, "Which is why you let out that _girly_ _squeal_ ,"

" _Uchihas_ _don't_ _squeal_." The male states before suddenly accelerating away from me. Unfortunately for him, my current speed far surpasses his and I instantly am adjacent to him again, a smile still evident on my face as I continuously allow a few chuckles to escape my throat.

Although my smile is outlived soon enough as, unfortunately for _me_ , the vivid moon casts the most angelic of reflections on Sasuke's face, a strange illusion infecting his face with what looks like innocence, and it's probably the most attractive I have ever seen him. Despite his alleged anger, his eyes are easily the happiest I have ever seen them and the expression of his face, though concealing many of his emotions still, seems far less cold than before. Amusement and pleasant surprise, as well as the anger of a mere and petty child, are easily deducible on his gorgeous features, and I'm honestly breathless. He's never been this _beautiful_.

 _No. Stop it. He's a child and you're almost a fully grown women. He's a monster who betrayed the village and you're one of the most loyal medical ninjas of all time. He's a complete dickbag and you have a couple of redeeming qualities- STOP IT. You cannot possibly find this little boy attractive and you can't possibly forget about all the shit his slightly more grown-up version has done. STOP IT. Pull yourself together, Haruno Sakura, you're on a mission to save the fucking world. Stop finding a boy that's at least six years younger than you attractive. STOP. IT. And. DO. YOUR. JOB._

"Hn, you're annoying," He says without too much disgust, the moon still causing me to question every moral and hormone in my body.

"Thanks, dickhead. I appreciate it,"

And then **Uchiha Sasuke laughs.**

* * *

Okay, so honestly, this is a little late. Sorry, school's just started again and I'm so stressed and haven't really been able to write that often (hence a shorter chapter than usual). Don't worry though, I'll be updating again, like usual, within two weeks at the latest, no matter what. Also, this chapter is very scarely edited as well, so I apologise for that.

On a side note, I know everything might seem a bit rushed or awkward at the moment, but everything will come into play soon and you'll understand why certain things are as they are. This story will be long, that I can promise, although chapters will eventually be three days or a week rather than just the single day, which I was actually going to do this chapter but decided it was cute to end it on Sasuke laughing.

ALSOOOOOO, Sakura does not like Sasuke. She thinks he's attractive, that's it. Any of her conflicting feelings are about finding him attractive, not about romantic feelings or whatever. I like Sakura as she is right now and don't really wnat her to start liking him for a little while (please bare with me). Sakura does not like Naruto, by the way, because I got my friend to read through this and she asked if Sakura liked Naruto and no, she doesn't (and she never will!). Naruto's crush will end soon (probably sooner than Sakura realises she likes Sasuke) and I'll probably incorperate NaruHina at some point.

As for other shippings, it'll be the basic ones that most people ship; NejiTen, SuiRin (which will have many cute moments because omg, otp as fuck) ect. I don't think I'll be putting in Ino or Shikamaru with anyone, though, as I want this to be mostly SasuSaku and I can't decide whether I want ShikaTema and InoSai or ShikaIno. Also, would you hate it if I made Kiba and Shino gay? Ahaaaa, that would be v cute, but idk, what do you guys want?

Also, yey or nah to Shikamaru and Ino having romances with anyone and, if yey, who?

Opinion on chapter? Thoughts, criticism and likes? Anything you want to/don't want to see happen? Leave a long review and I'll be sure to annswer questions and consider ideas ~~

Lots of love,

Karamel x


	4. Chapter 3: A Woman Far Beyond Her Eras

**perturbation**

ˌpəːtəˈbeɪʃ(ə)n/

noun

 **1.** anxiety; mental uneasiness.

 _"she sensed her friend's perturbation"_

()

 **2.** a deviation of a system, moving object, or process from its regular or normal state or path, caused by an outside influence.

 _"these shifts and swings in wildlife populations are possibly related to climatic perturbations"_

()

 **3.** A small distortion (from its normal shape) of an object or of the spacetime curvature around an object.

 _"her time travel was a perturbation"_

* * *

 **Chapter 3 of X. /  Past Time. / 6YRS 4MNS 10DYS left.**

 _"A Woman Far Beyond Her Eras"_

 _War is cruel._

Of course, anyone with even half a brain would realise that- When is death _not_ cruel? Especially when _you're the killer_?

The answer would be that _it isn't_... although I could say that a lot of things have at least some form of cruelty to them; as someone who has indeed experienced an array of life-altering events, I have experienced five lifetimes' worth of cruelty. I've experienced heartbreak and loss, death and sadness, _blood staining my fingertips as my hair has matted together_ \- I've lost my family, I've lost my friends, I've lost strangers after they'd been set as _my responsibility_.

As a fighter- _as a ninja_ \- I've been forced to take lives _every day_ for the past four years, forced to ignore the nausea residing in the pit of my stomach as I _mangle_ corpses. I've been made to accept it, welcoming it as a normalcy despite the disgust that has me gagging in the nearest hidden corner that I can find. In a world like mine, this is the natural order: _Birth, murder, death_. Somewhere in that, you have your stupid moments of happiness that slip through your fingers before you even notice what's happening, and you have your tragedies that you try to belittle and normalise, only they always manage to startle open you eyes in the middle of the night.

That brings us to my next point- _night terrors_.

Anyone who's lived through a war could tell you that, although the killing itself is awful, it isn't even the worst part; the worst part is that, despite every attempt you formulate to make them stop, those deaths haunt you in excruciating detail, redecorated in ways that seem to make those vicious moments even crueller. When you beg your mind to close off your thoughts, exhaustion numbing your bones as your muscles begin to ache, they awake in storms of bloodshed, running through your mind over and over again until your sobbing into your pillow, the agony igniting a merciless _burn_ in the depth of your heart. You see faces, faces that you know you'll never be able to forget, and you reenact those scenes until they're all you can see when your eyes flutter close, embedding the screams into the hallow shell of your eardrum. Every night, for what seems like it's going to be the rest of your life, you'll preoccupy your slumber with a chorus of clanking weapons and shouts, you'll paint your eyesight in flesh-coloured dots and crimson shades of gore, feeling your insides lurch once again, for the millionth time since it actually happened.

 _Night terrors._

When you're caught up in the war, fighting for your life without even a second to spare, you don't _dream_ \- You _can't_ , you don't have that leisure or that time. Instead, you might be running battle strategies through your mind, constructing plans and schemes that you're desperate to work, begging your body to replenish your chakra at a much faster rate; you don't comprehend the dark marks hanging to your life force, you don't consider what dehumanising acts you've done- _You just fight._

For the first time ever, in what seems like an endless amount of decades, _I have time to spare_. I have a chance to comprehend and consider, to feel the acid in my abdomen do flips and twists, to distinguish the vibrant shades of ruby and wine and scarlet that will forever stain my palms.

I had experienced my first terror on the second night that I arrived here, in this cleaner time. Unsurprisingly, I had woken up breathless, gasping for air as I felt my lungs constrict, screaming and sobbing and wailing for help, for _support_. I had felt my heart hammering against the skin of my chest, had smelt the putrid odour of decay as I heard thick liquid seeping onto the wooden planks of my room. It was like I was _there_ again, watching my first kill and, in an almost sadistic way, _enjoying_ it- Enjoying the power, enjoying the warmth of their entrails as they slivered onto my bare limbs, enjoying my first success as a soldier. And then, after the adrenaline and the pride that overwhelmed me to the very organisms I contained, I had thrown up, feeling such a sense of self-loathing that I had almost wanted to tear out my insides, as some sick form of retribution.

What I didn't expect to feel, however, as I sat bent forward like a beggar, was a pair of comforting arms holding me against my mother's chest. Silently, without even needing an explanation, she soothed my hair in gentle strokes, hushing my pierced howling with the delicate hum of her voice. Even when my body had stopped quaking, my mental capacity and logic suddenly returning, she stayed still, squeezing my waist in light, feathery motions. When my voiced had been rendered into a cracked whisper and my snivels had lessened, the woman didn't press or pry, simply placing chaste kissing along my forehead.

And then, she had uttered a meaningful 'I love you', placing her lips against the tip of my nose with a saddened smile. She had offered my shoulder one last squish before she left, wordlessly, with a grace and cautiousness that I thought she had been incapable of. Her presence had calmed me, transforming my violent shakes into softened trembles, but the memories and the sensations still bit at my conscience like hungry wolves.

That nightmare had been the worst one I have had for the prior week, and so I haven't woken up with my mother by my side again, growing almost accustomed to the bitterness that turned my food bland- but life has a funny sense of humour, I've come to learn. And, by funny, I certainly don't mean for me.

My worst night terror yet presented itself in the early hours of today, just a little past midnight, as I lied in the thin, cobalt tent beside my teammates. I'd just drifted into the world of slumber, content with the familiarity of my surroundings, when I had felt an aggressive jolt beat the air out of my lungs. My organs froze, momentarily, knowing exactly what was happening, before they all simultaneously went into overdrive, causing every fibre and nucleus in my anatomy to sprint marathons. Within seconds, I'd felt tears spilling from the corners of my eyes, eyelashes prickling irritably at the jade of my irises as my entire optic organ went bloodshot. My throat closed up, trapping rising bile into my stomach but still enabling me to taste it, drying my mouth harshly and sending my torso into a lively fit of coughs. Somehow, my gustatory sensations were infected by putrid flavours and aromas of human flesh, tongue welcoming the smooth skin as I choked up blood, confused whether it was mine or not. My spine was arched over, annoying and so _there_ against my integument, as I cried out in horror.

 _Faces._

 _Bodies._

 _Corpses._

 _Enemies._

 _Allies._

 _Pain._

 _Injuries._

 _Death._

 _Me._

I couldn't control _anything_ \- I couldn't order the shambles of my head into chronology, nor could I recall a name or an event. Everything blurred together before my pupils, fogged and vague, yet still so vivid against the thoughts that dictated my whole being. My skin felt as if it had been set ablaze, that so-called ash of mine emanating from the tent material beneath my feet, and my lungs felt as if they were collapsing onto one another. Although I could hear nothing but the protests of my victims as I shut down their life span, I could feel my voice screaming out in torment.

Everyone was instantly alert, staring my aching form down in astonishment, not understanding or comprehending a _how_ or a _why._ Instead, Naruto's childlike hands clasped my torso with far more assertiveness than my mother had, his blond hair fluttering against my cheeks as he buried himself into my neck, trying to offer as much physical presence as possible. Our resident Uchiha simply spectated, unsure of himself for the first time in his life, his fingers fumbling in urgency as Asuma peered into my eyes, barking out questions that neither of the two were able to answer. Much alike to Sasuke, yet also far more composed and calm, Kakashi just watched, probably running through possibilities, with his perfectly analytical mind.

I _didn't see them_ , though; I only saw bodies, lifeless and bloodied bodies, falling at my feet as my hands were covered with their insides. I only heard the pounding of my heart and the blades that I glided into people. I only felt the bitter wind of the alabaster battlefield and the desperation I had to kill another enemy, before they hurt another one of my own. I only tasted the blood in the air and smelt the fire burning against flesh. In that moment, I was back in my own time, eye glazed over and hyperventilating that _I'm not doing enough, I'm not helping enough_.

"Sakura," Asuma had called out but it barely registered, as my eyes saw only his dead body and the tears that fell down Ino's face as I held her, "Sakura, listen to me. I need you to calm down,"

 _I didn't calm down._

In fact, I screamed even more, shivering as I felt his unfamiliar and rough hands grip my clenched joints, in a manner he probably assumed was comforting. I only recoiled though, whipping him away as I embedded myself into my best friend's side, relishing in Naruto's familiar scent and feel. _Asuma is dead_ , I kept reminding myself, ignoring my time travel predicament, _Asuma is dead_. His face was younger, though, stress-free and completely not reminiscent of his long, lasting marriage, firmer and actually groomed. He spoke differently too, I think, or maybe that just seems like the case because I can't even recall how it ever sounded, anymore, and his words held a weaker tone of strictness, as if this wasn't a life or death situation. Well, I suppose it _wasn't._

And then, I _remembered_. I remembered where I am, why I'm here and what I'm supposed to be doing. I remembered why it's okay that Asuma is alive and breathing, softly condoling my inner bruises with his natural kindness. I remembered why Naruto feels so much smaller against my form, and why Sasuke doesn't drive a katana straight through my unsuspecting heart. I remembered that this mission is crucial to everyone's lives.

 **; .-;**

"Hey, Sakura-chan," Naruto calls out finally, after his stare has been pining into my back for at least an hour, "I know you said that you're okay now, but are you really? And, like, why were you even like that?"

I'm not expected to respond, though, and I can tell that by the way Sasuke nudges his elbow into the blond's stomach, and by the way that Asuma casts him an astonished, outraged glare. I can tell that by the way we're suddenly talking about something else, animated and so much more carefree, but that doesn't mean I don't feel the way their gazes linger too long on my moving form, or the panicked glance they all share when my figure shifts too quickly. None of them can conclude anything, and their speculations are definitely way off, but that doesn't stop the paranoia from seeping into my bones.

In contrast to the setting I'm used to, my childhood eyes seem to just _see the world_ in more vibrant tones; Instead of green trees, I can differentiate the shamrock leaves from the cooler parakeet of budded flowers, the crocodile undertones apparent at the lowest points of the deciduous, brighter hues of chartreuse painting the earliest blossoms. Soft salmon petals are beginning to appear as the season warms, coral and cyan clusters litter the ground whilst pansies dye the pistachio of my irises in shades of indigo and amethyst. Usually, I can utter a few words about the burnt amber leaves, and that's it- The rest can be a rainbow that is solely a variety of red, and then my description would have to come to a halt... But not _here_ , not in _this_ time.

"Do you understand your objectives?" Kakashi addresses us casually, although it's pretty obvious to me how important this mission is to him, "Do you understand what you are to do?"

In response, Sasuke only offers a slight nod, but Naruto is vocal in broadcasting our plans, ignoring any code of ninja that I've ever seen. We are to 'babysit' some rich priestess' daughter and ensure her safety after an attack had wiped out half of the temple's bodyguards, whilst discovering who the attackers were and 'dealing' with them, in the loudmouth's words. In all honestly, I'm relatively certain that we're just a cover whilst Asuma and Kakashi partake in whatever we've actually been sent here for: a five-man squad on a simple safety and discovery mission? Ha, _yeah right_.

We arrive at the temple just before nightfall, when the sky is a haze of medallion yellow and sandstone orange, more exhausted than any of us are willing to admit. Sweat glistens on the younger boys' skin, reflecting the last beams of sunlight onto their cheeks in a way that makes them seem even more childlike, that beautiful innocence gleaming in their coloured gems like the shine of an emerald. I don't miss the deeper huffs of air either of them try to sneak, but I decide to leave their pride in tact and remain indifferent to it.

The temple itself is stunning, with high cobble pillars and glossed marble floors, unique in the way that it doesn't contain even a single plank of wood; even in my current time, ' _the future_ ', most areas aren't so advanced to have upgraded from tree bark to refined concretion. Strange forms of creatures- perhaps gods or spirits- are depicted on these gorgeous, elegant statues, some with animal body parts and others just _inhumane_ in an abstract sort of way. The women that greet us, possibly handmaidens, seem to blend in perfectly with the sophisticated aura of land, so pristine and so well composed that I almost find myself pulling at the material of my clothes. They're appealing to the eye in the same way that a Hyuuga would be: graceful and soft, like a painting crafted for the sole purpose of _being looked at_ , and without any deeper, externalised messages. No emotions escape their marionette facades, thick masks concealing any form of humanity in a manner that almost puts me on edge, all four of them present with hair the colour of primroses, ashy and blond, and these stale, sea foam eyes.

"You must be the Konaha shinobi," The tallest one smiles a polite smile, coming forward in front of her clique, the essence of spring itself radiating from her delicate features, "It is a pleasure for us to make your acquaintance, we are very humbled by your kind services,"

"Nonsense," Asuma chuckles out, his louder voice sounding so out-of-place amongst these dainty women that it almost offends me, "We wouldn't be here if it caused us too much hassle,"

He receives a chorus of silent nods, the world seeming to grow soundless in the occupancy of these females. "We presume that you must be weary after what we assume was a long journey?" The same girl speaks again, something about the tone of her voice alerting my inner instincts, "Come, allow us to escort you to your rooms,"

We're lead to an ivory corridor with many branching doors, all magnolia and somehow grand, and are eventually halted between a set of two doors, facing one another, right at the very end of one of the winding halls. We're told that one of us is to sleep with the priestess' daughter to ensure her safety and, for some reason, Naruto is volunteered immediately. He doesn't complain and leaves quickly and quietly, right after our senseis have stumbled into their own quarters, resulting in a brooding Uchiha as my roommate.

 _Oh, how pleasant_.

"Are you prepared for an attack?" Sasuke asks, once again belittling my capability as a ninja.

"No, I didn't read the mission briefing at all and therefore thought we were just going stargazing. Whoops, silly old me,"

"Don't be moronic," He hisses, shuffling through his bag. His arsenal is weak, if I'm being completely honest, only consisting of a few kunai and smoke bombs, shuriken and tekagi- Basically, the bare essentials. Stupidly, though, it's better than mine as I have forgotten to stock up on my own supplies (I also completely lacked the money, but that's irrelevant), "Sarcasm is the lowest form of intelligence,"

"You sound like my mother," I snort back, ungracefully flopping back onto one of the single beds, structured from metal and what feels like pure cotton beneath my fingers. In truth, I miss the way my mother- _my actual mother_ , not some younger copy- used to reprimand me about the stupidest things, like how I rolled my eyes too frequently and how I also left unannounced, or how I walked with too much stealth that it ' _creeped her out_ '. She was always so picky and particular about things, so much so that it often irritated me to no end, but I guess, in some ways, that was her charm.

My dad had been just as bad, really, but in other ways; he was always so protective and difficult about things, never quite believing that I was strong enough to fight for myself. I think, to him, I way always going to be ' _his little girl_ ', no matter how many people I managed to beat up that were twice his size. In his eyes, his traditional and conservative eyes, I think I was to be the embodiment of a stay-at-home housewife, hidden from harm and protected by some patriarch who preferred to keep to himself and out of the ninja politics of the world, raising the next line of equally civilian Harunos.

 _Well, I'm sorry daddy, but I broke the cycle._

Amongst our small, quiet bloodline, _I am the first to be trained as a ninja_. Amongst our gossiping, average linage, _I am the first to be anything but ordinary_. Amongst the shopkeepers and the florists and the dressmakers and the bakers, _I am the first to be different_. It's funny, I always thought this new lifestyle would be so much more exciting than that of my parents- for their eyes had always seemed so _dead_ and _bored_ \- but honestly, sometimes I think maybe life would've been far better for me had I not branched off from the family tree. Less exciting, obviously, but maybe I could've saved myself some heartbreak?

Like the heartbreak sitting right across from me, suffering with his own heartbreak that will eventually mould into mine.

This whole time travel thing really makes you reevaluate your life choices- The ones that, at the time, seem so irrelevant yet make the world of difference. Equally, there are some things that I'd rather keep the same, but it's difficult to depict those things when my timeline grows so scrambled, day by day. One wrong move and the entire future is doomed, one wrong move and everyone I've ever cared about ceases to exist: that's a lot of pressure.

I think that I've been so overwhelmed about everything that's happening, that I haven't even given myself a chance to fully digest things- To fully question things. For instance, what happens if I succeed and go back to my own timeline? Like, what happens to this world and what happens to the bonds I've made? Maybe I'll fall in love here or discover something that drastically changes my entire life standing, and then I'm forced to throw it all away? Would I really be so willing? Like, worst case scenario, what happens if _I don't want to go back_? What happens to me when I've outlived my own original timeline? What happens to the world I've left behind?

To be honest, all of that is highly unlikely anyway, but I can't help the curiosity that eats away at my mind. A chance to redo everything- _to right all of my wrongs_ , and then to just give that all up to go back to an imperfect world? A world where I'm not exactly who I want to be, in a place that I'd rather would stop existing all together? In the middle of a battlefield, with blood permanently stained onto my hands and my once closest allies ripping each other apart? Well, obviously the choice has been made for me...

But it's sometimes nice to speculate: to fantasise, to _dream_.

"Your mother must be very intelligent then," Sasuke Uchiha scoffs like he's just come up with the greatest comeback of all time, that unimpressed snark baring its teeth at my attitude, yet not bothering to conceal his downright immaturity.

"If she sounds like you, Sasuke," I laugh, strangely feeling some kind of liberation in mindlessly bickering with him like this, "I'm afraid not,"

The Sasuke of my time period is nothing like the Sasuke of my childhood, that's for sure- Anyone with half a brain and a pair of eyes could tell you that; This little _boy_ , who overreacts at the simplest inclination of some kind of flaw, who hides his slight smiles behind eye rolls and one-syllable noises, is so _innocent_ and _wonderful_ , radiating the type of beauty that I didn't even bother to acknowledge the first time around, and so unlike the one I know now. If I had to choose between them, the child before my eyes would instantly be my choice, without a second's hesitation. It's purely speculation, of course, but my internalised problem is that, perhaps, one day _, I might have to actually choose_.

Obviously, though, that choice wouldn't be as simple as 'Sasuke A or Sasuke B?', but far more in depth and complicated.

But, for now, and maybe for ever, I don't have to even comprehend that decision.

In the middle of the night, when my eyes are on the verge of closing and when the homely lamps have been completely dimmed down, I hear Sasuke's huskier- _not by much, though, he's still very much pubescent_ \- voice call out to me, cracked from sleepiness and with exhaustion evident in his entire form. At the sound of his muffled whispers, I roll on my side to face him, unknowingly mirroring his exact position, with my palms pressed together against my right cheek.

"Hn, Sakura," His tone is weary, obviously straining to speak, and it's so soft that I almost don't make it out, but I don't think anyone could quite miss the words that Uchiha Sasuke utters milliseconds before he's in a deep slumber: "You're not so bad, you know?"

And that's it.

The next think I'm aware of is his steady breathing and closed eyelids, his chest dancing a rhythmic waltz as I simply watch his peaceful expression. I don't fall asleep for hours, vaguely recalling the images that never cease to keep me up at night, and just sit there, observing his occasional twist and halt, wondering just _what on earth is going through that mind?_ as I blissfully replay his words like a bedtime lullaby. I don't think I've ever seen a Sasuke look so _delicate_ , so _youthful_ as the twelve-year-old that rests beside me, and the sight is honestly _enthralling_.

 **; .-;**

Breakfast is eerie, to be completely truthful, disturbing me with the quiet clanking of the cutlery as we all just sit in complete silence. Kakashi is uncharacteristically blank for the giddy man he was at the start of our apprenticeship, his analytical eyes judging everything like the newly invented machines of my own time, merciless and efficient. He doesn't eat either, ignoring his courtesy as a guest, which would appear odd to the untrained eye for there are probably very few who have seen a banquet more extravagant and delicious.

Rich berries and exotic fruits colour the alabaster of the dining room, variations of differently styled toast presented like artwork on sliver platters, foreign dishes shipped in from a manner of countries and lands- There are fish, eggs, meat, vegetables and a huge array of carbohydrates to choose from, all prepared exquisitely for the eye and heavenly on your taste buds. If money could buy you happiness, it's right here, in these meals. In the four years I've been a soldier, I haven't been able to eat anything other than rice and the occasional stew, and, even as a twelve-year-old villager again, my family have never been particularly versed in making food for the enjoyment of flavour, and so I cannot contain myself as I scoundrel the plates of meat. There's wine too, but I'm obviously not allowed it as this body of mine is underage- _although it's underage anyway, but I don't let that stop me anymore_ \- and so, instead, I have blackcurrant juice, which is actually a first experience.

After devouring enough cuisine for a whole village myself, we're lead to the priestess, who I can only really describe as _overwhelming_ \- When we enter her esteemed quarters, we're greeted by her guards and lead to a section even more closed-off, before we come face-to-face with her, herself, in all her grace and beauty. Unlike most women I have encountered, she has hair the colour of thorny roses, sharp and fiery, with these deep whiskey eyes that just pierce into your soul. Her face is striking and angular, accompanied with full lips that are shaded in with more of a peachy tone than most other females', naturally I presume. Underneath her long, flowing dress, I can only imagine a powerful physique with strong muscles and porcelain skin, but I'm unable to distinguish anything from my first impression. Unsurprisingly, she shares that sophisticated glare like most of the upper-class portion of our nation, and, although her title is less known than the average high-class priestess, she emits just the same sharpness and ridiculing expressions, and her slender fingers seem far sterner than any I have seen before. To put the woman simply, she's _gorgeous_ and _intimidating_ , much alike to Tsunade-Shishou.

"Am I safe to assume that your needs have been well accommodated?"Lady Shizouka, we were informed of her name in the mission briefing, has a voice as smooth as velvet, confident and sure of itself, with that renowned elegance that I've only ever heard about in storybooks. Although she asks a question, there is nothing questing about her tone, that's for sure, and I can't help but admire her.

"Very well accommodated for, I assure you my lady," The silver-haired man of our squad glances up from his kneeling position, which we are all inelegantly hunch over in, and offers one of his bittersweet smiles. He's always had this same mysterious _fakeness_ about him, in all the years that I've known him, like he's never quite revealing all of his cards; which, to be honest, is probably _exactly_ the case.

"My daughter tells me that she has taken quite a keen liking to your teammate," the smile that graces her lips is anything but kind, more as if it's a form to assert her upper-hand, "Which is particularly peculiar for her, I tell you. _Uzumaki_ Naruto, is it?"

"Er, yeah?" the blond, who has been strangely soundless this entire time, splutters out, "That's me, _believe it!_ The one and only,"

 _God, I haven't heard him bellow that phrase in a long, long time..._

"What do you know of your linage, boy?" She questions with that same ' _I-know-far-more-than-you-ever-will_ ' smirk, ignoring his informality, dark eyes darkening even more despite the sunlight that seeps through the cracks of her drawn curtains. At this point, Kakashi is quick to interject, stating about it's irrelevance and so on, to which her irises only seem to gleam at. She puts me on edge, to say the least, as if she's secretly harbouring my deepest, darkest secrets beneath her floor-sleeved gown, the expression on her face only adding to my increasing fears.

Some people say that certain priestesses are able to sense things- abnormal, almost _supernatural_ things- such as spirits and what-not, but others say that they're able to see inside of _people_ , who somehow reveal every minuscule detail about themselves with just the meeting of their eyes. Unlikely, I'm fully aware, but there's just something so unnerving about her that I just can't place; _Naruto's lineage_? What would some random temple woman know about the fourth hokage? And, more importantly, why would it matter to her?

"I assume that you have thought out your strategies well?" in addition, she also assumes a lot, too, which is _never_ a good sign, "And that you will not be needing any intervention what-so-ever, correct? My soldiers are more than willing to offer assistance, if it truly need be, of course, but I assume that you are more than capable yourselves and can handle this just splendidly, yes?"

There she goes again, with that word: ' _assume_ '.

"Of course," Kakashi answers again, seconds before we're dismissed and lead out of the room.

 _Well, she's a character, alright, that much is for certain._

* * *

In my defence, before everyone tries to gut me, I have warned everyone of my appalling time management multiple times... But I'M SO SO SO SORRY FOR SUCH A LATE UPDATE! My timetable has been so busy and I just haven't really had much time to write, and, to be honest, I kind of went through a stage of writer's block ;/ All fixed and cured and whatever now, though, obviously, and so updates might be regular again, but some of you know how I can be ;)))

I've finally decided the route that this is heading in, as well, and so things aren't going to be as aimless and _filler_ as the first few chapters (cuz is there a fandom who hates fillers more than us? I think not ;))) tho some do actually just **GET ME GOING, YANOE?** ) so that's all good, I guess.

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^^ Feel free to leave them in a review, I'd much appreciate it :333

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Ciao my loves ~~


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